Movie of the Week: Lars & The Real Girl

Great, great movie that completely falls apart with Ryan Gosling doesn't play Lars perfectly.

Gosling played Lars with the perfect amount of humor, sadness and creepiness. As hard as was to swallow an entire town rallying around a delusion (more likely a psychotic break), everyone played it straight.

It's a shame that Ryan Gosling won't get the attention come Oscar time but he really should because can only think of a handful of performance this year on par.

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Movie of the Week: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Tim and Johnny, all is forgiven for Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

This is the Tim Burton I race to the movies to see. I've never seen Sweeney Todd on Broadway so I have nothing to compare it to (and maybe that's for the best).

It's takes about half a song to get used to Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter singing but they both did great jobs.

I think I could watch Alan Rickman read the phone book and I'd be interested. I don't there has ever been an Alan Rickman performance I haven't enjoyed.

Warning: it's very bloody, comically so. Think Kill Bill - The Bride vs. The Crazy 88's

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Movie of the Week: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

(I know...another 3 stars)

This movie was stupid and full of dick jokes (and actually some dicks) but you know what, it was fucking hilarious.

It helped that John C. Reilly can sing his ass off and that there were more cameos than a Robert Altman film.

The jokes were coming so fast that I'm going to need to see it again.

My favorite parts were Tim Meadows' anti-drug warnings to Dewey throughout the movie. "No Dewey, you don't want no part of this shit!)

There was a lot of stuff in the commercials and trailers that didn't makethe finalcut so expect a loaded DVD.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Movie of the Week: I Am Legend

This was probably my favorite Will Smith performance ever.

It's hard to carry a majority of a movie when you are the only person acting. A perfect example of the right way to do this is Tom Hanks in Castaway. I was a little worried for Mr. Smith who has only tried to flat out act a handful of time (Six Degrees of Separation, Where The Day Takes You, Ali).

Well, he did quite well. He didn't try to force the humor too much (an issue for him). He was the appropriate amount of stoicism, desperation and insanity. There's one scene during a "conversation" he has in a video store that shows you how much Will has stepped his game up.

The movie was a lot more suspenseful than I expected (one of my female companions who I went with spent various moments in the fetal position). There were a lot of elements that reminded me of 28 Days Later. Also, the creatures sort of moved like the robots in I,Robot when they were vaulting on top of poles and walls.

My problems with the movie: There is an evolution of the vampire-like creatures that goes acknowledged by Robert Neville (Smith) which bugged me. It went more in line with what happened in the book. Also, they completely changed the book. I didn't read the book but I looked it up after the movie and it was much cooler than what happened in the movie.

I saw this in IMAX, mainly for The Dark Knight prologue which was awesome. I'm a strong believer in seeing any movie shown in IMAX but that was an added incentive.

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Movie of the Week: Enchanted

Ok, I'll admit it. It was really cute.

Amy Adams was amazing (as expected). I hope this leads to bigger and better things for her.

This was a great parody of old Disney flicks. There were a couple of surprisingly disgusting moments involving vermin which is why there will never be a Disney romance cartoon set in New York City. No one finds singing roaches cute.

One thing did kind of bother me. Given that this was a Disney film, the animated portion of the movie wasn't very good. I know it wasn't a large part of the movie but they really slacked here.

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Movie of the Week: I'm Not There

Well, that was weird.

I don't know how much I liked it. For the first 90 minutes or so, I was in love with it. Everyone playing different incarnations of Bob Dylan was great but none better than Cate Blanchett. I've made my feelings known for Ms. Blanchett but as Jude Quinn, she was amazing. She had Dylan's mannerisms and tics in the 60's down pat. Christian Bale was also great as the reclusive folk-hero Jack Rollins.

But when the Billy the Kid (Richard Gere) portion of the movie started up, I got lost. Maybe if I was more familiar with the history and iconography of Bob Dylan, I would have appreciated it more but I'm not so I didn't. Every time those scenes came up, I got pulled out of just enjoying the picture and trying to figure out what all this means.

Still, it was really beautifully shot and directed. I was just lost for thirty minutes.

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Movie of the Week: Juno

This year's Little Miss Sunshine.

The movies started slow and sometimes the script tried to hard to be witty but it was still one of the better comedies of the year.

Ellen Page (Juno) was great (I've loved since Hard Candy) and will probably be nominated for an Oscar (or at least a Golden Globe). Actually everyone was really good - Michael Cera, J.K. Simmons (good to see him playing a nice guy), Alison Janney, Olivia Thirlby. I especially liked Jennifer Garner. Who knew she could pull off such a sad, controlled performance?

The soundtrack was also great.


The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You

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Movie of the Week: The Golden Compass

It had some good moments and Dakota Blue Richards was really good but for the most part...

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Movie of the Week: No Country For Old Men

I officially forgive the Coen Brothers for Ladykillers.

Let's see...this movie will be nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor/Supporting Actor for Javier Bardem, Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin (who's having an amazing year).

So why didn't I have it a full four stars? Because the ending is very anticlimactic. I understand why it ended that way but still, I was let down.

Without spoiling it, it's like knowing three trains are on a collision course to destruction. Then all of the sudden, one train crashes out of nowhere but you don't see it, only see the aftermath. One train keeps going while the other just stops and decides it isn't worth chugging along anymore.

Confusing? See the movie.

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Movie of the Week: Gone Baby Gone

I generally hate movies in which the title of the movie is out of a line in the movie but I'll make an exception.

It was definitely a good flick despite being directed by Ben Affleck. I kid. I actually have no animosity towards the elder Affleck as he starred in one of my favorite movies of all-time.

Anyway, even though they were both by adapted from Dennis Lehane novels, elder Affleck follows the Mystic River playbook a little too closely.

Who would have thought Casey Affleck couldn't hold a consistent Boston accent?

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Movie of the Week: American Gangster

File under: "Good but not great" or "Could have been better"

The performances were great especially Denzel Washington and Josh Brolin but the movie had problems:

• It felt like it was based on a timeline because everything kept jumping around. You would think the entire movie took place in the span of a month.
• I don't think we needed to see Richie Roberts' (Russell Crowe) custody hearing or to be constantly reminded that he was a "good cop" amongst corrupt cops. I think because it was because they wanted Crowe to have as much screen time was Washington. I wonder if the movie would have been different if Benicio Del Toro played Roberts as was originally planned.
• I think it should have ended with Lucas' arrest. The movie was long enough was it was.

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Movie of the Week: The Heartbreak Kid

Actually not as bad as the reviews say.

Ben Stiller + The Farrelly Brothers = raunchy humor.

You're going to laugh and cringe a lot. Probably the latter more then the former.

It went on too long and there's this weird part of the movie where you no longer feel sorry for Ben Stiller because what he's doing is kind of despicable.

But you'll still laugh.

One thing I always appreciate about Farrelly brothers movies is the "No joke left behind" style of script writing. Things that feel like random statements come back later in the movie.

Stay for the credits. There are a couple of extra scenes.

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Heroes Season Two Random Thoughts

For the comic book blog I contribute to, PrepTimePosse, I decided to start writing comments on this season of Heroes. Here are links to the first two and check out the rest every Tuesday:

• Episode One: Four Months Later
• Episode Two: Lizards
  

Continue reading Heroes Season Two Random Thoughts

Rilo Kiley @ Webster Hall

Marry me, Jenny Lewis.

To be honest, Under The Blacklight, Rilo Kiley's latest release, is already my least favorite album of theirs. Doesn't mean it's bad. Far from it. But I didn't feel attached to it instantly.

Anyway, to hear the songs performed live made me love songs I liked and like songs I didn't care for. My favorite songs from the night were "Dreamworld", "Portions For Foxes", "Silver Lining", "It's A Hit" (with Orenda Fink formerly of Azure Ray and now Art in Manila on trumpet), "Breakin' Up", "Does He Love You"...I'm going to stop because I'll probably end up listing them all.

I can watch Jenny Lewis on stage all night long.

I forget how short Blake Sennett. He really hasn't grown much from his Boy Meets World days

That said, Webster Hall is a weird venue for a rock show because you can hear the club music bumping down below. It's particularly awkward during slow, quiet songs. if your favorite band is playing here, double check to make sure they aren't playing anywhere else in the city.

Despite the venue, it was a great show.

All photos by Jenny Francois

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Movie of the Week: 3:10 to Yuma

A good movie that could have been great.

Russell Crowe and Christian Bale were awesome and the best non-action scenes of the movie are when they are talking to one another, trying to make the other understand why he is the person that he is.

Ben Foster stole the movie as Wade's (Crowe) insane second-in-command, Charlie Prince. He hammed it up a bit during some scenes but he was still great. Did anyone else think he was gay for Wade?

The biggest problem with the movie is the padding in the middle. There is one scene with some railroad men who have a beef with Wade which was completely pointless and could have been done without. It really slowed down the movie and removed some of the great tension that had been building.

Hopefully, on the DVD, that part will be one whole section that can be skipped.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: 3:10 to Yuma

Movie of the Week: The Bourne Ultimatum

Easily the best of the Bourne films and the smartest action/thriller in ages.

I can't decide which chase was my favorite - the one in Morocco by foot or the car chase through New York City - but both times I was at the edge of my seat because you didn't know what was going to happen next.

I really hope they don't make another Bourne movie.

Actually, let me rephrase that.

I hope they don't do another Boure movie without Matt Damon and director Paul Greengrass

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Movie of the Week: Superbad

Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.
- Evan

Apatow Productions owns this summer

At such a young age, Michael Cera is already a comedy genius. No one does uncomfortable conversation better than him. Check out his online show, Clark and Michael. Mark my words, he will be in a Woody Allen movie playing the Woody Allen-ish character before he dies.

Anyway, the movie was hilarious. I knew Jonah Hill was funny ever since he carried the first 30 minutes of Accepted.

This movie will be quoted for years.

I still can't decide which I liked better: this or Knocked Up.

Strangely enough, I can see women not finding it as funny or not liking it at all.

What a great summer for comedy.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Superbad

Movie of the Week: Stardust

It was a cute, Hollywood version of a book I love.

They changed ALOT of the story. I knew there would have to be changes because as much as I love Gaiman and Vess' tale, it would never work as a straight adaptation. The story took its sweet time to bring everything together (and I mean that as a compliment) and the ending lacked the drama needed for a movie.

The changes they made didn't bother me so much but - without spoiling anything - there were some aspects I wish they could have kept, especially in regard to the growing bond between Tristan and Yvaine. I also prefer the book's ending to the movie but I was okay with the way the "Hollywood" ending.

I would have probably given the movie another if I had never read the book. But isn't that always the case?

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Stardust

Movie of the Week: The Simpsons Movie

Remember when The Simpsons were really funny all the time? Than Matt Groening and his fellow writers remembered too.

Not much else to say but that this movie was hilarious at least to me. I'd place this right behind Knocked Up for funniest movie of the summer.

Having been a fan of The Simpsons since The Tracey Ullman Show (yes, I just carbon-dated myself), this reminded me of a time when The Simpsons could be counted on for quality laughs.

Even Lisa wasn't (completely) annoying.

Seriously, if you are over the age of 21 and you did not find this movie funny, I hope someone breaks into your tomb during the day and stakes you in the heart.

Ok, that was a bit much.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: The Simpsons Movie

Movie of the Week Pt. II: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: An IMAX 3D Experience

How do you turn a 870 page book into a 138 minute movie? Very carefully.

The best way to describe what was determined to be left out of the movie form the book is this: describe the book in one paragraph (5-6 sentences). Mostly everything that was left out of that paragraph was left out of the movie. Little things were added for future reference (Grawp, Kreacher, lovelorn/jealous looks from a certain girl). And I'm okay with that. Why? Because they fixed the biggest problem I had with the book.

When I was going through my Potter book-a-thon last summer, this book was the hardest to get through. Not because the book was bad or anything but because Harry acted like a bitch for the entire book. I understand that Rowling was going for sullen teenager but he came across as a whiny, "woe is me" brat. Halfway through the book, I started to hate him. So credit to the screenwriter Michael Goldenberg and Daniel Radcliffe for making Harry's attitude not as annoying and more understandable.

That said, I think they should have added the Quidditch scenes because this movie is devoid of fun and the "Weasley is Our King" scenes would have lightened the mood of this otherwise political thriller set in Hogwarts,

Imelda Staunton is the biggest standout as Dolores Umbridge. She pretty much takes over the movie. I just wish there were more scenes with her and the other British acting powerhouses in the film (Maggie Smith and Alan Rickman particularly).

The battle in the Department of Mysteries in IMAX 3D was amazing. It was a much better use of the technology than Superman Returns (the only other movie I saw in IMAX 3D). It is definitely worth the extra cash and if you are near one, you should definitely make the effort.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Pt. II: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: An IMAX 3D Experience

Movie of the Week Pt. I: Ratatouille

It was cute or at east as cute as a movie about a rat in contact in food can be.

Nothing spectacular but even an okay Pixar flick is better than most other anitmated features.

Patton Oswalt was doing a great Nathan Lane impression.

I was happy a) that the rats and humans couldn't speak and b) that it ended the way it did. The ending is more "realistic" than I expect from a cartoon.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Pt. I: Ratatouille

Movie of the Week: Transformers

It was going so well.

The first hour or so of Transformers was good. It was surprisingly funny and Shia Lebouf was living up to his hype. Michael Bay wisely listened to the fans and cast Peter Cullen (the original voice of Optimus Prime in the 80's cartoon) because the nostalgia factor is plus 15 any time he spoke.

So we are chugging along and who comes in the ruins the movie? John Turturro. His character was unnecessary. He was supposed to be silly and funny. He was over the top and VERY annoying. The movie stopped in its tracks to make room for his character. Did Tuturro beat Bay in a game of poker and forced himself into the movie (à la that Brett Ratner commercial for New York Film Academy)

Anyway, the movie was cool. It was a great summer popcorn flick. The action was confusing at time with too many metal parts moving at once and I found it a tad incredulous that there weren't bodies all over the street as 8 foot robots ran in the streets, knocked over (and through) buildings, and fell from the tops of buildings like metal King Kongs.

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Shakespeare in the Park: Romeo and Juliet

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

Lauren Ambrose and Oscar Isaac in "Romeo and Juliet" at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park.

So our journey begins at 5:00 AM.

That's when I set my alarm clock to wake me up. Unfortunately I had a wine hangover so I was nauseous and had a headache.

I got to the park at 6:00 AM (when the park officially opens) thinking there wouldn't be that many people in the park. I was dead wrong. There were people with sleeping bag and one dude with a tent. I would say there were about 35-50 people in front of me. It was the last week it was showing so the desperation to get tickets had people at the park from 4-5 AM. SO I got my place in line and waited until 1:00 PM. I re-read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince which took up most of the time.

I got my tickets and went there around 7:15 because doors were supposed to open at 7:30.

Unfortunately, there were technical difficulties and we did not get into The Delacorte Theater until 9:30 PM

The show was great. The stage was on water and had a rotating platform so they went from scene to scene at a rapid pace. It's hard to explain you just had to see it.

Lauren Ambrose (who looks way too much like a 14 year old) was great. She played Juliet like a neurotic teenager. I prefer to see Juliet played as a impetuous teenager than as a wise beyond her years girl. Oscar Isaac (Romeo) was also really good as his delivery of Romeo's many crazy lines was hilarious. Carolyn Manheim (Nurse) and Christopher Evan Welch (Mercutio) were also great. Every time I see an interpretation of Romeo and Juliet, I always feel bad for the persons playing Benvolio and Paris because they are such shit role.

There were two noticeable screw-ups. Ambrose bumped her head on the metal platform during her balcony meeting with Romeo in Act I and Issac choked on an apple while trying to chew and talk. Also, Ambrose practically hit herself in the face with the bottle with the Friar's potion but she might have just been going for effect.

It was a great show and I'm glad I finally got to see Shakespeare in the Park. Maybe I'll get to see Midsummer Night's Dream in August.

Continue reading Shakespeare in the Park: Romeo and Juliet

Movie of the Week: Live Free of Die Hard

It's rare that I get to use "awesome" to describe a movie but this movie was awesome.

I was worried in the beginning that this was just going to be an action movie starring Bruce Willis playing a character who just happened to be named John McClane.

And for the most part, it was. The action was over the top compared to the previous Die Hard films. But I didn't care.

They don't make action movies like this anymore with car crashes and the hero getting the shit kicked out of him and more physical work that CGI. The last movie like that was True Lies I think.

Justin Long didn't annoy me as much as I thought he would.

I think what this movie lacked was more interaction between Bruce Willis & Timothy Olyphant. Olyphant had some great lines, both to Willis and his techie crew. Thats really what makes a Die Hard movie - the back and forth between McClane and the head villain. What few conversations they did have were good.

P.S.: I'm officially in love with Maggie Q.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Live Free of Die Hard

Movie of the Week: 1408

One of the better Stephen King adaptation but only two and a half stars which should let you know how bad they usually are.

This was one of John Cusack's best performances ever. Between this and Grace Is Gone (I saw a test screening), he has really stepped it up.

It started strong but definitely faded in the last 25 minutes.

But if you want to take a girl to a movie and have her crawling all over your arm screaming, this is the film to take her too.

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Movie of the Week: Ocean's 13

I hate the Ocean's franchise for two reasons:

1. Every time I watch these movies, I feel that my wardrobe if woefully inadequate and I become very vulnerable to buying expensive clothes I'll probably never find a reason to wear.
2. I can watch an Ocean's movie ANY TIME THEY ARE TV and it is a drain on my life. Anytime TNT or HBO run Ocean's 11 or 12, I will watch it. It doesn't matter what point of the movie it is. If I am not already watching something in particular, I will watch Danny Ocean and crew.

Anyway, this movie was better than second but not as good as the first. It started slow when they were setting up the plan against Pacino's Willie Bank (probably as restrained as you'll see Pacino) but once they start executing, it becomes fun with a lot of throwbacks to the first two films.

Don Cheadle gets the shaft that Bernie Mac got in Ocean's 12 as the character with the least screen time. At least it spares us from one of the worst British accents in cinematic history.

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Feist at Town Hall NYC

I wish I got a better picture

Goes without saying she was great. Such a beautiful voice. It was a fun show and Kristy and I had awesome seats (third row).

My favorite songs she did were "So Sorry", "I Feel It All", "Lover's Spit" (with Kevin Drew from Broken Social Scene on keys), "Sea Lion Woman" and "Let It Die".

Continue reading Feist at Town Hall NYC

Movie of the Week: Knocked Up

Judd Apatow can do no wrong.

Pretty much hilarious from start to finish. I think I liked it better than The 40-Year Old Virgin because even though some of the situations were ridiculous, the characters seemed more real.

Everyone was great but the standout was definitely Paul Rudd. The scene in Vegas with Rogan and Rudd had my friend and I in hysterics. Hopefully Apatow will make Paul Rudd the star of his next comedy classic.

Other standouts, aside from Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl (I forgive for the ridiculousness of the second half of this season of Grey's Anatomy), were Kristin Wig and the Apatow all-stars (Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Martin Starr) from Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared.

The only reason I couldn't give it four stars was it was a little too long and I was traumatized by the birth scene at the end.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Knocked Up

Movie of the Week: Waitress

It was cute.

It's always good to see Keri Russell in a starring role and doing great.

It was a funny, sweet movie.

The music was kinda annoying but it was an indie movie so I'll let it slide.

But once again, I will take this moment to again lobby for the stardom of Nathan Fillion.

Spielberg. Bay. Lucas. (Ok, not Lucas.)

Cast this man as the next Summer blockbuster hero.

Please.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Waitress

Movie of the Week: Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End

Please let this franchise be "at world's end".

This movie isn't bad. It's boring which is a bigger crime. The first two hours were a constant struggle to stay awake during or care about this movie. They would sprinkle Jack Sparrow in to keep you going like a shot of espresso but eventually your body adjusts.

My review for Dead Man's Chest last year pretty much applies to this movie as well and I don't feel like retyping it.

Let me just add two things:

1. It's like the writers and directors forgot what made the first one so great and so much fun. That movie was all about Jack Sparrow and a fun little pirate adventure. Then they went and made it all dark, twisty and unnecessarily complicated. It's like, "Wow, Johnny Depp got nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for a role in this silly little pirate film. Let's add more characters and cut his lines."
   
   
2. What happened to the two hour movie? Really?

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End

Lost Season Three: "Through the Looking Glass"

In various interviews, Tim Kring, creator of Heroes, constantly went out of his way to say his show isn't like Lost in a negative way. You know what, Tim? You should be so fucking lucky.

What I Liked:

• As I sat at work anticipating this episode, avoiding spoilers, I tried to figure out who might die and it occurred to me that anyone could die at this point. Usually the sign a character is going to die is flashbacks come to some sort of resolution. We learn every facet of what made the person on the island. This season, we basically wrapped up everyone's past - Locke's dad, Kate's dad and mom, Sayid getting forgiveness, Sawyer getting his revenge, how Jack got his tattoo (I know...who cared). The point is there was nowhere else to go so everybody was vulnerable. How I underestimated Cuse and Lindelof? The flashback is over. The flash forward begins
• I know some people hate Jack and some people want someone to punch Jack in the face (I'm not one of them), but Matthew Fox carried this episode acting-wise from his future self, his five minutes with Ben when he thought Jin, Bernard and Sayid were killed and his final showdown with Locke. Seriously, I hope the Emmys don't ignore Lost in the acting categories this time around.
• There was all types of bad assery: Jack kicking Ben's ass, Hurley's rescue in Roger's van, Sayid pulling a Jack Bauer, Sawyer's revenge kill on Friendly, Locke throwing a knife in Naomi's back and Mikhail's underwater grenade pull
• Two best quotes of the night
• "If you say 'live together, die alone' to me, Jack, I'm gonna punch you in your face." - Rose (after Jack told them they weren't waiting for Sayid, Bernard and Jin)
  
• "I didn't believe him." - Sawyer (after shooting Tom Friendly in cold blood)
  
• Charlie died. Ok, I wish he didn't die. There! Are you happy?

What I Didn't Like:

• I wish ABC didn't list Malcolm David Kelly in the opening credits so Walt's appearance would have been more of a surprise
• Jack's kiss with Juliet and saying "I love you" to Kate seemed out of place and pointless.
• Jack's AWFUL fake beard
• I wish we got more of Locke
• The anticlimactic reunion of Alex and Danielle
• I'm mad at myself for not figuring out the flash forward thing sooner

What We Learned On The Island:

• Ben was keeping the fact that Looking Glass was still functioning a secret to everyone
• Everyone were told the girls guarding it - Greta and Bonnie - were on assignment in Canada
• Ben was keeping Alex and Karl apart because he didn't want her to get pregnant
• Bernard is a bitch
• Danielle recorded her distress signal three days before Alex was born
• Naomi is not working for Penny
• Jin is a poor shot with a handgun
• Mikhail is a poor shot with a machine gun in broad daylight and a stationary target
• Tying up and gagging Sayid does not necessarily mean he can't kill you
• There is a "temple" on the island
• Walt's ghost is about 6 inches taller than real Walt
• Mikhail is an immortal. Ok that's not true but it sure feels that way doesn't it

What We Learned Off The Island:

• Jack and Kate got off the island (!)
• Jack became a pill-popping drunk
• While trying to jump off a bridge, he caused a woman driving with her son to crash her car. Jack saved their life
• Jack attends a funeral for someone that both him and Kate knew
• Oceanic Airlines gave the survivors unlimited miles which Jack uses hoping to crash on the island
• Kate has a "he" to go home to
• Jack is trying to get back on the island.

Questions:

• How did they get off the island?
• Who didn't get off the island?
• What "mistake" is Jack tired of "lying about"?
  
• Who's funeral was that? (My guess: Ben)
• Who is the "he" Kate has to go home to?
• Is Jack's father alive?
• Is this the absolute future or a possible future?
• Was that Jacob appearing as Walt?
• After all the things that have happened to Locke, now he decides to kill himself?
• Who is Naomi working for?
• I know Charlie thought he was going to die but why did he rat out Juliet as his source for finding the underwater hatch? What if he ruined everything with his big fucking mouth?
  
• Is Mikhail really dead this time?
• Did Charlie close the door on himself to make Desmond's vision come true saving Claire in his mind or was he too sodding stupid to realize a) he had enough time to get on the other side of that door or b) the moon pool in the other room would have slowed the flooding to a crawl giving them plenty of time to escape?
• How badass is Sayid and Sawyer?
• Will Desmond still get visions? If so, what will he see now?
• what and where is the temple Alpert is leading the remaining Others too?
• Why has Ben been lying to his own people and jamming their communications off the island?
• Why is the cast of NBC's Las Vegas invading Lost? will James Caan be playing Jacob?
• Seriously, did another black character have get killed off the show?
• Can Cuse and Lindelof pull this off?
• Can I survive until February 2008 without Lost?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Through the Looking Glass"

24 Season Six: 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM/5:00 AM - 6:00 AM

Body Count: 49 (+13!)

Sorry this is late but there was nothing to talk about aside from Jack setting the single season kill record.

I'll make this quick so we can forget this season ever happened.

Jack was right, everyone was wrong.

Jack killed 19 people with one clip.

Doyle's blind

Chloe's pregnant

Bill Buchanan, channeling Tony Almeida, goes from not being sure he can fly a helicopter to landing on an oil rig on the sea.

Bill and Karen Hayes are unemployed

Dragonslayer is still a snarky dick.

Josh proves he's Jack's son by getting the drop on Papa Bauer and shooting him

Jack lets Papa Bauer blow up with the chip on the oil rig

Jack ambushes Heller and gets his balls back

Jack says goodbye to Audrey.

Jack contemplates his future (or suicide).

Silent clock for the death of a popular show.

The End

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM/5:00 AM - 6:00 AM

Lost Season Three: "Greatest Hits"

The Life Aquatic With Charlie Pace

What I Liked:

• The way they built tension for next week's finale. All the pieces are in place
• The return of Rose and Bernard
• Juliet wins the best line of the night award, responding to Karl telling the 815ers that Juliet is a spy: "They know Carl, but thanks!" (it was all in delivery)
• Charlie and Desmond's interaction throughout the episode was great.
• Charlie's "Greatest Hits" flashback. I hope they continue to find interesting ways to do flashbacks from this point forward
• Charlie's goodbye to Hurley was particularly sad
  
• They almost made me not want Charlie to die

What I Didn't Like:

• Everything seemed a little rushed
• Charlie lived

What We Learned:

• There is an underwater station called The Looking Glass (more Alice in Wonderland) that is jamming all communications off of the island except for The Others
• There was a DriveSHAFT Greatest Hits album released when the world thought Charlie was dead (despite having only two albums but hey, even the Fu-Schnickens have a greatest hits album)
• Charlie saved Nadia (Sayid's) from a mugger and she called him a hero
• Bernard can shoot
• The DS ring Charlie wears and bequeaths to Aaron doesn't stand for DriveSHAFT but were his great-grandfather's initials (Dexter Stratton) and was also the inspiration of the band's name
• Naomi is from Manchester
• Charlie can swim (despite saying he couldn't in season one)

Question:

• Did it not occur to anyone that such an important station might have guards?
• Are those guards Others? Dharma Initiative? Mermaids?
• Why did Ben mislead the Others into believing that the Looking Glass was empty and had been flooded?
  
• Why did Charlie lie in season one and say he couldn't swim?
• Why isn't Claire nervous anytime Charlie goes off with Desmond knowing that Desmond gets visions of Charlie dying?
  
• If Charlie dies, will Desmond still get flashes? If so, of what?
• Why did Ben move up the time table to kidnap the women? Was he trying to distract the Others from wondering what happened to Locke?
• I know Ben was lying this time out but does Jacob actually give Ben orders or is he some sort of boogeyman he uses to scare the Others straight?
• Who is Nadia's travel agent? This chick is everywhere.
  
• Did Charlie ever get some from Claire?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Greatest Hits"

24 Season Six: 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM

Body Count: 36 (+6)

For all the shit I talked about Jack's kills this season, he's on course to break Season Four record of 44 kills. Fingers crossed.

Big Trouble In Little CTU
So the Chinese grab Josh and leave to meet up with Cheng. Jack and Nadia come up with a plane to overtake their captors. While they are whispering, Chloe comes up to them like a high schooler saying "Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Chloe really misses her alone time with Jack. With a well-placed headbutt, Jack sets off the attack. Morris tries to choke one of the captors from behind, Nadia busts out some nifty punches and Jack continues this season's penchant for creative kills by choking out head Chinese merc with his gun strap. Doyle and the rest of CTU show up in time to save Nadia from sharing Milo's fate. Jack wants to run after Josh. Nadia reminds him that he's still under arrest. He ignores her. She accepts that. No one bothers to clean up Milo's body. Division shows up to make CTU look bad AGAIN. Blah Blah Blah

Russian Cocktail
Well, Mike Bishop, Russian spy, is no commercial break lover like President Logan last season as we rejoin this Dragonslayer and Secret Service team in the van waiting for Bishop and Aide Slore to finish up which leads to the funniest line of the season,"Aaaaand finally we're done!" Mark doesn't fall for the bait and the Aide tries to beat up the spy. Guess how that turned out? Anyway, Dragonslayer and team save her from being choked to death and force the spy to send the e-mails. Doesn't matter because Russkie Prez was having his spy monitored and knew the e-mails were fake (Question: Why aren't the Russkies out looking for Cheng if this chip is so fucking important). Presidnt Suvarov gives VP ODB two hours to secure the chip and provide proof or else: WAR! Then the VP sums up the absurdity of this entire season in one line: "We're about to go to war over a piece of circuitry." Indeed.

Chinese Take Out
So Doyle "leads" a team with Jack to recover Josh. "Lead" is in quotes because Jack does all the hard work. He kills his way to Cheng and saves Josh who keeps getting himself into Kim-like trouble. Cheng gets away but now has nothing to bargain with to get the chip from Papa Bauer (Question: How did Cheng even find Papa Bauer? Did he look him up in the Yellow Pages?) So Papa Bauer calls the Vice President (apparently on 24, it's not so hard to get someone in the White House on the phone). He offers to give them the chip in exchange for Josh. VP ODB agrees and Doyle snatches Josh from Bauer and flies off in a helicopter while an entire team of CTU agents holds back Jack. Good, NOW Jack has a reason to kill Doyle.

Bauer Moments to Remember:

• Jack choking out head Chinese merc with his own gunstrap
• During Jack's rescue of Josh, Jack does this amazing slide and shoot with his chicken legs.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM

Lost Season Three: "The Man Behind The Curtain"

Help. Me.

What I Liked:

• When Lost ends in 2010, Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson should try and find a project together.
• We finally learned what became of the Dharma Initiative
• While it lasted, I loved seeing tough guy Locke. I felt like he was representing frustrated Lost fans (not me) when he was beating up Mikhail and pushing Ben into a corner to stop his incessant stalling
• The 815ers finally got together and talked. Look how easy that was.

What I Didn't Like:

• I don't think Locke is dead. But if for some crazy reason he is dead. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. THAT.
• Another season, another secret plan by Jack
• Another character, another shitty father. Thank God this show is off the air before Father's Day.

What We Learned:

• Ben was not born on the island. He was born outside of Portland to Emily and Roger Linus in the woods after an ill-advised hike. Emily dies shortly after he is born.
• Roger and Ben (as pre-teen) are brought to the island by Horace Goodspeed, who pulled over along the side of the road to help Emily and Roger when Ben was born.
• Roger is given a job as a Work Man (or what we in the real world would call a Custodial Technician)
• Dharma Group is at war with the Hostiles, the island's original inhabitants
• Ben has a little girlfriend growing up called Annie
• Roger blames Ben for his mother's death and keeps forgetting Ben's birthday.
• Kid Ben sees his mother (wearing the clothes a doll Annie made for him).
• When Kid Ben sneaks into the woods to look for her, he runs into Richard Alpert. He tells Richard that he wants to leave the Dharma group.
• Adult Ben kills his father in the van that Hurley found in "Trisha Tanaka Is Dead" and helps the Hostiles to kill the rest of the Dharma Group
• There is a volcano on the island.
• Naomi is NOT with the others
• Mikhail survived the pylons because they were not set to lethal
• Juliet told Jack about Ben's plan, he just had decided to not share this information until he figured out what to do.
• Jacob lives in the woods in a shack.
• Jacob hates technology.
• Only Ben can see or communicate with Jacob (kind of like Management in HBO's Carnivàle) until Jaocb says "help me" to Locke.

Questions:

• What the fuck is Jacob?
• How come only Ben can hear or see him?
• WHat is with the ring of ash around Jacob's shack?
  
• Did Annie die with the rest of the Dharma Initiative?
• Were there other Dharma members who defected to the Others?
• How is Richard the same age now he was when he met Ben as a kid?
• If Richard has been around for so long with the Others, how come Ben is in charge and not him?
• Is any of the Others supporting Ben at this point?
• How did the Others get to the island?
• Who goes hiking when they are seven months pregnant?
• Was the dynamite Danielle got from the Black Rock for Jack's plan?
  
• Can the island heal a bullet wound? If so, can it hurry?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "The Man Behind The Curtain"

Movie of the Week: Hot Fuzz

Here comes the Fuzz!

Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg come up with another awesome parody. What's next: romantic comedies?

It was really slow in the beginning (it didn't help that I was a little sleepy). I felt like they rushed Pegg's character to the country and spent too much time revealing the villain(s).

But when it got going, wow.

The action was incredibly well-directed considering it was Wright's first foray into this kind of filmmaking. I didn't expect it to be so bloody though. That was a pleasant surprise.

Pegg and Nick Frost continue to be a modern day British Abbott and Costello.

Awesome cameo by my girl Cate Blachett. I don't care what she was wearing. There's no way I couldn't spot her.

This movie reminded me that I need to buy Point Break already.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Hot Fuzz

24 Season Six: 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM

Body Count: 30 (+5)

Even when Jack doesn't go looking for trouble, trouble goes looking for Jack

Political Espinoge - The Skinemax Edition:
Let's get the stupid (or stupider) part out of the way. Dragonslayer and ODB get VP Aide Slore to call her snitch of a lover and tell him that they got the component back so that he can tell the Chinese. Then she's supposed to go over there and leave him alone with her PDA so he can go through it. So with Dragonslayer and some men in a van outside, Aide Slore tried to execute the plan but fails because snitch just wants to get laid and isn't letting her out of his sight. It was a comedy of error. So now they are probably having sex with Dragonslayer watching in the van after requesting for some privacy.

Assault at CTU (Part 4):
Audrey and Heller are gone (Thank God). Jack is still under arrest. Chloe decides that Marilyn needs to know all this information and see Jack so that she can hover over this dead relationship carcass like a vulture. Meanwhile, Chloe and Morris and Nadia and Milo are sorting out their love lives with Silver Spoons is doing the cliched "We're in the wrong place" thing in his hunt for Cheng.

Now this is how easy it is to infiltrate CTU. It wasn't even Cheng initial plan to break into CTU. This is something he put together (with outside help but still) in a little over an hour.

The Chinese mercenaries break in and start shooting. They ask who's in charge. Nadia freezes and Milo is like, "I'm in charge here". BAM! Bullet in the forehead. R.I.P. Milo. You died like you lived: trying to get laid. The security guard opens Jack cell before he gets shot. Jack takes his gun and killing time. The last thing you want to give Jack Bauer is home court advantage. You think Cheng might have warned them that Bauer was in the building. Jack saves Marilyn and Josh (side note: he continues to prove he's Bauer's son because he hasn't slept this entire day) and they realize the Chinese are after Josh. Jack helps Josh escape but him and Marilyn get captured as a result. Now, why the Chinese don't put a bullet in Jack's head right now is beyond me. He is sitting on the ground staring at them like a rabid dog. The head merc gets Josh to come back by threatening to kill Marilyn. I was hoping that Josh's pants would get caught on something and he would be too late to save her. Oh well. Then we realize that the Chinese were obtaining Josh for Papa Bauer(!) who is fixing the broken chip in exchange for Josh, the kid who he threatened to kill 8 hours ago or so.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM

Movie of the Week Part II: Spider-Man 3

Unfortunately, third time is not a charm

From this point on, all spoilers because that's the only way I can do this

What I Liked:

• Tobey Maguire still has Peter Parker down
• This was the first Spidey movie that I liked James Franco in
• Thomas Hayden Church was great as Sandman
• Venom looked more like Todd McFarlane's version than I expected
• The action sequences were great as always. Raimi knows how to kick Spidey's ass and make it look good
• J.K. Simmons owns J. Jonah Jameson
• Bruce Campbell's best cameo role yet
  
• Topher Grace, pre-Venom, was probably the best person in the movie
• The scenes with dark Peter were pretty funny until it went over the top
• I won't deny that I smiled at the Green Goblin/Spider-Man team-up at the end

What I Didn't Like:

• Explain to me why Bryce Dallas Howard wasn't cast as Mary Jane and Kirsten "Snaggletooth" Dunst was?
• So the movie is chugging along and I'm wondering why everyone is whining about this movie and then it happens...the movie suddenly comes to a grinding halt. From the moment MJ and Harry kiss (the crowd actually booed) til Peter rips off the suit, except for a couple of moments (Peter vs. Harry in his apartment & the aforementioned funny dark Peter), the movie essentially stands still.
• I'm getting tired of Aunt May's speeches
• Who told Kirsten Dunst she should sing multiple times in the movie?
  
• The constant crowd NYC crowd shots with random kid ab libs get more and more annoying with each one. At this point, they are just poorly staged.
• Venom and Sandman weren't developed enough. Venom particularly seemed sort of tacked on.
• Spider-Man let a criminal get away at the end.
• The 15 minute cryfest at the end. I thought I was watching the end of The Return of the King.

All and all, it wasn't bad but we could have done without this one being made.

God help them if they try to make Spider-Man 4.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Part II: Spider-Man 3

Lost Season Three: "The Brig"

My name is James Ford. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

What I Liked:

• Say what you will about season three but this season has produced some of the best Lost episodes ever...including this one.
• Finally a connection between two castaways has some sort of payoff
• Josh Holloway's Emmy reel will come from this episode
• The backstory showing us what Locke's been up to since we last saw him.
• The divisions amongst the castaways AND the Others
• Um, Naomi is cute and had my favorite line of the night: "Remind me not to save you, Sayid"

What I Didn't Like:

• How Kate went over to Jack at Mach 5 speeds to spill the beans about Naomi

What We Learned:

• Sawyer is still Kate's booty call
• The Others have apprently been "waiting" for Locke
• Ben's plan for the 815ers: kidnap all the pregnant women
• Oceanic Flight 815 was found at the bottom of the ocean near Bali, all the bodies were accounted for
• Naomi is part of a company hired by Penelope Widmore to find Desmond using the coordinates she got at the end of Season Two after the Hatch imploded
• The ship Naomi came from is about 80 miles away from the island
• According to Alpert, Ben is purposely trying to make Locke look bad in front of the Others
• Cooper was kidnapped after a car crash
• Cooper is Tom Sawyer, the man who conned James' mother.
• After all he's been through on the island, somehow that letter James wrote when he was a little kid is still intact

Questions:

• Is there really a schism in the Others faction or was Alpert doing exactly what Ben wanted him to do by getting Locke to get Sawyer to kill Cooper?
• Did all the Others have to do something for their initiation?
• Why does Danielle need dynamite?
• What secret is Juliet and Jack keeping?
• Why did Ben tell Locke about his plan to kidnap the pregnant women on the island?
• what bodies did they find in the wreckage of flight 815?
• Why does the island heal everyone so quickly?
• When will Locke and Danielle realize they are perfect for one another?
• Like Inigo Montoya, now that James has finally gotten his revenge on Cooper, what's left?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "The Brig"

Björk at Radio City Music Hall

What a weird, awesome woman

So Bill & I went to her Radio City Music Hall show. I expected she would be doing mostly songs from her new album, Volta. So I was pretty pleased when she essentially ran through the greatest hits, sans "Hyperballad" which is probably my favorite Björk ever so that was disappointing.

She came out with the same horn section that she did for her recent Saturday Night Live appearance.

This was the setlist:
"Earth Intruders"
"Venus As A Boy"
"Aurora"
"I See Who You Are"
"Oceania"
"Dull Flame of Desire"
"All Is Full of Love"
"Pleasure Is All Mine"
"Pagan Poetry"
"Joga"
"Where Is the Line?"
"Army of Me"
"Innocence"
"Wanderlust"
"Pluto"
"Anchor Song"
"Declare Independence"

I'm always amazed at how powerful her voice is and how she's been able to maintain it it. Especially when she says "thank you" after every song with a voice of a ten year old at a spelling bee and is dancing around stage like Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine.

The funniest moment was when some fan tried to get on stage and dance along with Björk. Radio City Music Hall security does not fuck around. That guy took two hops on stage before he was taken down and dragged off the stage on his stomach.

All and all, a great night.

Continue reading Björk at Radio City Music Hall

Movie of the Week Pt. 1: Once

My favorite movie of the year thus far

This is sort of a musical ("modern day musical" is how the writer-director John Carney described it at the Q&A following the screening). It's not like a Dreamgirls/Chicago musical where characters break into songs about the scene. The songs (some featured on the album, The Swell Season, some written specifically for the film) come along while the characters are collaborating and making this demo but the songs are about both the characters' (who are never named so they are referred to as Guy and Girl) past and what is going on between them.

The two leads Glen Hansard (from the Irish band, The Frames) and Markéta Irglová have great chemistry together and their friendship seems natural and not forced. And the songs were great.

I want to say more but it would spoil certain aspects of the movie.

The movie isn't perfect but it felt perfect so I'm sticking with my rating.

Just see it and hate me if you don't like it.

It comes out in limited release on May 18th.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Pt. 1: Once

24 Season Six: 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM

Body Count: 25 (0)

A mole, relationship problems during a crisis, conflict between CTU and Division, Jack beating up CTU guards, just another hour in CTU land...

White House Ho
Show surprise, there's a leak and it's in Lisa Miller's drawers. Apparently, VP ODB isn't the only person she's been sleeping with it. Far be it from me to judge her promiscuous ways but syhe just happens to be boning a guy who's linking intel to the Russian which allows them to find out about Cheng getting away with the chip. Little do they know, the chip is broken and now Cheng is looking for someone to fix it. Wait, isn't this how the day started? Morris better not go outside for a smoke break. Anyway, VP ODB tells the Dragonslayer his sob story of being a widower and his feelings for the traitorous slore. Boo hoo! Dragonslayer comes up with a plan to get Lisa to tell her booty call they found the chip so World War III won't have to start.

CTU Days of our Lives
After Nadia denied Morris of his transfer due to hurt feelings, he dumps Chloe with some now-trademark face touching. He leaves her crying and now she appears to be missing (Chinese?). Division sends a psychologist to deal with catatonic Audrey which Jack is being detained in another room. The doc, who probably has degrees and experience in this sort of thing, tells them that they are going to give her some drugs to try as get much information as possible, possibly killing her. I don't see a problem with this. Jack, who only has a degree in killing people with limited resources, thinks he can cure Audrey just by being Jack Bauer. Doyle in attempt to make the viewers like him sides with Jack and sets him loose on CTU and Division staff like a pit bull in a kindergarten class. He kidnaps Audrey, locks her in a room and eventually she says one word which helps give them a hint to where the Chinese might be.

Heller An Ending
Out of nowhere, Secretary of Defense (still?) Heller is at Audrey's bedside. Before he gets her out of there, he talks to Jack and tells her to stay away from his daughters, blaming Jack for her state and telling him that everything he touches dies. If that's true, Jack must have touched one too many writers this season.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM

Lost Season Three: "D.O.C."

What. The. Fuck?

What I Liked:

• I'm not usually a fan of Yunjin Kim's acting but she was great in this episode. She held her own against the best actress on the show (Elizabeth Mitchell)
• Oh, Juliet. I knew you weren't completely on the side of the Others
• Mikhail's alive! Thank God. He was too cool to kill already.
• Hurley was hilarious: "Ooops", "Mom" and the final "What?"
• Jin knows kung-fu. Sweet roundhouse kick
• We've come full circle on the Jin and Sun backstory

What I Didn't Like:

• I'm sure when he dies it will be heroic on some level and redeem his character on some level but until that moment happens, unfortunately Charlie's still alive.

What We Learned:

• Shortly after she marries Jin, an old woman blackmails Sun for $100,000 unless she will reveal that Jin's mother is a whore
• Sun goes to see Jin's father and learns that a) Jin's mother was promiscuous and b) Jin might not be his son. He makes her promise not to tell Jin either nor that she met him
• Sun goes to her father to get the money no questions asked promising to continue to turn a blind eye to his affairs
• Sun's father says that Jin will have to repay this debt and that's how he ended up being a Korean thug.
• Sun gives the old woman who is Jin's mother the money but threatens that she will have her killed if she sees her again
• Our mysterious guest (listed as Naomi in the credits) speaks Italian, Chinese, Spanish and English
• Juliet lost nine patients
• The winner of the Race to Sun's Ovaries is...Jin!
• History dictates Sun has about two months to live
• The island increases sperm count (Five times more sperm)
• Juliet left a tape recorded message for Ben detailing Sun's pregnancy saying that she will test Kate next (Good luck with that one)
• Apparently in the real world, Oceanic Flight 815 crashed and was found and there were no survivors!

Questions:

• Oceanic Flight 815 crashed and was found and there were no survivors. WHAT THE FUCK?
• How did Mikhail survive or was he faking this whole time?
• Where was Mikhail running to?
• Why did Sun act like she didn't know what Jin was doing for her father?
• Who sent Naomi?
• Is anyone on the island who has sex pretty much going to get pregnant?
• Is Kate pregnant?
• Is Juliet pregnant?
• Why is Juliet helping Ben if she hates him so much?
• Knowing what she knows, was Juliet having sex with Goodwin a suicide attempt?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "D.O.C."

24 Season Six: 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM

Body Count: 25 (+2)

Look like nobody is getting any tonight...

...except Vice President Psycho who has transformed into VP Ol' Dirty Bastard with his creepy line to his assistant Lisa, "Call the media, tell them the acting president's a dirty old man." Gross. Lisa is running home to get her ho bag. Who wants to bet that won't run smoothly.

Karen Hayes Isn't Getting Any...
Because Buchanan was responsible for releasing Fayed when he was in custody before he was anybody, Karen was forced to fire him to protect President Vegetable. It was genuinely sad because Bill has had the longest tenure of any CTU boss and Jack has even had the respect to never pull his gun on him. Which leads to...

Milo Isn't Getting Any...
Milo, who has been an employee of the government for at least seven years, got passed over (actually, not even considered) to be acting director of CTU for Nadia, who if memory serves correctly was a) under arrest and b) had her access limited due to her Muslim descent. Maybe is Milo spent more time focusing on his career and not trying to hook up with his co-workers, he might be somewhere in life. Tony waited until he was acting director to hit on Michelle. Speaking of CTU...

Chloe Isn't Getting Any...
It was good to see the old Chloe come out during her tiff with Morris. "How about don't arm nuclear bombs for terrorists?" As Kelso on That 70's Show would have said...

Jack Isn't Getting Any...
After Jack escapes Doyle, he changes location to a place that CTU can't track him and that he can safely blow himself and Cheng up with the chip. Everything is going according to plan. Jack gets Audrey and sends her up the road (but not before doing that creepy face touching thing he's been doing all season) and he's about to blow the place sky high and who fucks it up...

...that's right, Silver Spoons a.k.a. O'Doyle's, the non-alcoholic Bauer engages the Chinese which allows them to get away with the chip. Jack's under arrest but lo and behold, Audrey is batship crazy and is a couple of cats away from this...

Apparently, Audrey can't withstand a 1/10th of the torture Bauer can. Who's surprised by that.

No Bauer Moments To Remember

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM

Movie of the Week: Vacancy

Eh, it was alright.

Actually, I'm not giving it enough credit.

It was very tense for most of the movie. Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale were getting the best of their captors but you couldn't see why they had succeeded while so many had fallen to these weird hicks* who liked to make snuff films in this motel.

Anyway, it wasn't great but it was perfectly okay.

And then two things happen at the end that just annoyed the shit out of me. One something that should be impossible and the other was just a bad guy doing something incredibly stupid.

It screamed to things: a) the alternative tested poorly and b) the latter was due to the lack of a great ending.

Oh well...I've paid for worst.

* It was weird to see Ethan Embry as the mechanic. I had such high hopes for him after Can't Hardly Wait.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Vacancy

Lost Season Three: "Catch-22"

For the record, The Flash can outrun Superman.

What I Liked:

• I always like Desmond episodes even though his story is just depressing
• Kate...changing... Sorry, I'm a man. Sometimes I can't help it
• Charlie and Hurley arguing about Superman and Flash
• Sawyer asking for some "Afternoon Delight" and even offering to make a mixtape
• Sexy Marsha Thomason landing on the island (even though she'll probably be dead by season's end)

What I Didn't Like:

• The backstory was kind of pointless except for Desmond meeting Penny and one interesting easter egg.
• Charlie lives another day
• Now even I'm getting tired of this love square between Sawyer, Jack, Kate and Juliet.

What We Learned:

• One week before he was supposed to get married to a woman named Ruth who he had been seeing for six years, Desmond got drunk and passed out, he was woken up by a Brother Campbell, took this as a sign and joined a monastery.
• He even took a vow of silence
• He was kicked out a) because Brother Campbell did not think being a monk was really Desmond's calling and b) Desmond got drunk on some very expensive monk wine
• On his way out of the monastery, he helped carry some cases of wine to a young ladies car and that's how he met Penny

Questions:

• If Desmond had let Charlie die from the arrow, would it have been Penny who parachuted from the helicopter and not Marsha Thompson?
• What is the effect of Desmond saving Charlie?
• Does the fact that she was carrying a Portuguese copy of Catch-22 and she knew who Desmond was mean that our new island guest is associated with the Portuguese men who Penny hired to help find Desmond?
• What made the helicopter crash?
  
• Why does everyone on this show read deep books? Doesn't anybody just read trashy novels?
• How is there more than one copy of the photo of Desmond and Penny?
• Why is that creepy old lady from Desmond's last flashback in Flashes Before Time in a photo with the monk?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Catch-22"

24 Season Six: 11:00 PM - 12:00 AM

Body count: 23

Jack is rogue and all is right with the world.

How the hell did the Chinese drop Jack Bauer off in Hour one and return with Audrey in Hour 17? Was she on the same plane as Jack? That's the only thing that makes sense. Anyway, considering all that he has put Jack through since Day 4 (forcing him to fake his death, kidnapping and torturing him for two years and kidnapping Audrey), it is safe to say that Cheng Zhi is Jack's true nemesis. Anyway, Jack's probably going to kill him like all his nemeses.

I own you, Mister Bauer

On to the show, Jack tries to steal the component for Chang with the help of Chloe (Shock surprise). It's almost laughable how easy it for Jack to convince Chloe to commit treason. unfortunately for Chloe, Morris, who's computer she used, is actually as smart as she is and figured it out pretty quickly forcing her to confess to Buchanon. Jack gets the part after using a Jedi Mind Trick on the two soldiers guarding the nukes (who takes someone WORD that they have a Presidential order to tamper with nukes?) but Silver Spoons stops him and he's put under arrest.

Jack asks to speak to the President who, let me remind you, is a Palmer so you know how this goes. Jack verbally beats Baby Palmer into submission (Mr. President, you OWE me!") to going along with his plan to destroy the chip before the Chinese can use it, even if it means blowing himself up in the process.

Now that the nukes are gone, the White House staff returns to the Oval Office. After Dragonslayer tells Baby Palmer about the attempted perjury, President Palmer asks for Vice President Psycho's resignation which he refuses. Then Baby Palmer with his new balls grown via shots of adrenaline, pretty much blackmails him into resigning which he's about to do after a private, creepy moment with his assistant Lisa. I half expected them to have sex on the couch so he could leave with a good memory. Of course, as the VP watches with resignation letter in hand, Baby Palmer assures the nation that the threat has passed and then like Robocop breaking one of his prime directive, he shorts out and collapses.

Guess who's President now?

His first order is of business: canceling Jack's stupid mission. I know from our perspective this seems mean but you know what, the Psycho is right! This si a stupid mission. What if Jack shows up and they put a bullet in his head an take the part off his corpse? Anyway, Buchanon tries to secretly tell Doyle to turn the car around so they can subdue Jack but Jack pulls a pistol on him. He lets Doyle out the car and drives off to save Audrey. That's right, Jack Bauer has gone ROGUE (again)

Bauer Moments to Remember:

• Bauer telling Doyle after he pulled the gun on him that I killed Curtis this morning from standing in my way, don't think I won't shoot you.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 11:00 PM - 12:00 AM

Lost Season Three: "One of Us"

Wow, what an episode

What I Liked:

• And the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama goes to Elizabeth Mitchell. If she's not nominated, I will be offended. And so should you.
• Now pretty much everyone is back on the beach sans Locke.
• Answers! Tons of answers*.
• I think I'm finally okay with Sawyer and Kate being together
• Jin has become quite snarky
• Lots of Other-y goodness: Ben, Richard Alpert, Ethan, Goodwin, Mikhail
• Juliet putting Sayid and Sawyer in their place

What I Didn't Like

• Okay, this isn't really the writers' fault and is actually a testament to their work but damnit, I really wanted Juliet to be good now and I wanted Jack to be right.

What We Learned:

• Juliet really likes the song, "Downtown"
• Juliet was dropped off at a private airport (Herarat Aviation) to begin her work for Mittelos Bioscience. She thought she was only going to be working for six months
• She gets tranquilized and taken to the island via submarine where she meets Ben.
• She is supposed to trying to get the Others women pregnant but they keep dying.
• Pregnancy is fatal to women on the island
• Juliet wanted to go home after it appeared her experiments were not working but Ben told her that her sister Rachel had a relapse and her cancer returned*. If Juliet stayed, Jacob would cure Rachel
• In season one, when Claire was having those crazy dreams, it was Ethan taking blood samples because they were testing the theory if it was then island killing the women*
• Ethan and Juliet were trying to save Claire's life*
• When Hurley discovered Ethan was an Other, he went rogue and kidnapped Claire on his own*
• Juliet was in a relationship with Goodwin, the Other that Ana Lucia killed
• "Carrie" was the book they were discussing in the book club
  
• After the plane crashed, Mikhail pulled files on everyone on the plane
• Richard videotaped Rachel with her son, Julian, and Ben showed Juliet that they were okay
• The Others implanted something in Claire to make her sick so Juliet can appear to be a hero.
  
• Juliet is still secretly working with the Others. The whole gas/handcuff thing was a plan by Ben. They are going to reconnect in one week
• Getting Juliet away from whatever perm product she was using in Miami was the best thing that ever happened to her

Questions

• Who is Jacob?
• Is Jacob on the island?
• Did Rachel's cancer really return?
• Was everything Juliet said about Ethan and Claire true?
• Why did the Others kidnap all the children?
• Why did Ben get cancer?
• Is Juliet going to turn on The Others?
• Is Sun going to die?
• Is the fact that all the pregnant women die the reason Ben doesn't want Alex with Karl in case she gets knocked up?
  
• Is Desmond going to see a flash of The Others' plan?
• Has Kate finally made her decision to be with Sawyer?
• Is Jack ever going to stop trying to protect women who don't need his protection?
• How does Jack get pussy whipped by women he's never slept with?
• Or is this another Jack plan he's keeping to himself?
  
• What is going to happen in one week?

* Could be a lie

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "One of Us"

Movie of the Week: Grindhouse

Wow, those movies sucked and I loved it.

Planet Terror
This is the kind of movie Robert Rodriguez is always making in some respect. The dialogue was laughable but the acting for the most part was pretty good. Everybody was game especially Marley Shelton, Rose McGowan and Naveen Andrews. The story made absolutely no sense but it was fun so who cares. The gore was extreme even for a 60's/70's homage. Even though it was a lot of fun, the intentional badness of the movie started to wear on me.

Death Proof
I can see why people would dislike this movie over Planet Terror (or in general). This should have definitely been the first showing due to the slow build. It has a typical Tarintino talking scenes which go on longer than necessary and there are tons of scenes that seem pointless but if you ever watched those 70's movies, there were always pointless character scenes so he was being true to the form in that respect. That said, it reminds me why I don't watch cheesy 70's movies. The dialogue and character interactions were much better in the second half of the movie.

I won't get into details as to not spoil but the car scenes were amazing. AMAZING. I can't believe this is the first time QT acted as his own cinematographer. Once the action got going, everyone was on the edge of their seat in the theater. Planet Terror was more fun but Death Proof was better directed.

On the acting front, here's another movie where I actually enjoyed Rosario Dawson's performance and Zoe Bell, real-life stuntwoman, is fucking awesome. Kurt Russell is always great in my mind.

The Trailers
My two favorites were "Thanksgiving" (Eli Roth) and "Don't" (Edgar Wright). "Machete" (Robert Rodriguez) looks like a movie he would actually make. "Werewolf Women of the S.S." (Rob Zombie) was pretty awful despite the cameo at the end. I am officially worried for Rob Zombie's Halloween remake.

Overall, it was an awesome movie experience. I really hope Harvey Weinstein doesn't split them as he's considering after the poor box office. If he does, I think Death Proof works better as a solo feature.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Grindhouse

24 Season Six: 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM

Body Count: 23 (+7!)

Silver Spoons summed it up best: "Damn, Jack!"

President Balls
Well, it seems the coma did Baby Palmer (or as Dave Barry refers to him, President Gary Payton) good. His nuke to Fakistan was a bluff to get them to give him some information and what do you know, they JUST SO HAPPEN discovered a general in their Fakistan who was supporting Fayed. Even Dragonslayer had to bow to Baby Palmer's wisdom although I don't know why BP didn't just say, "Don't worry. It's a bluff." He just wanted to fuck with him. He won't be able to enjoy it long because he's dying but doesn't want anyone to know. He's probably trying to get VP Psycho to resign first so that when he does keel over and die, someone else will be President. I just hope the Speaker of the House isn't Al Swearengen.

CTU=Boring
Please, somebody blow up CTU. Milo has gone from hero to sexual harasser in eight hours. How times have changed. What is his problem? Did he want Nadia to be like, "Are you hurt, Silver Spoons? Good I hope you die!" Again, where is Chloe? By the way, while I enjoyed CTU's ruse with Fayed and the fake rescue attempt, I have to ask, does CTU have a stable of Muslim improv actors ready to go at the drop of a dime? That plan came together a little to fast/

Time for some Jack-tion!

It was as if David Fury (writer for last night) and the producers remembered what it is people have come to expect from 24 and Jack Bauer: Absurd heroism. Silver Spoons will never be on Jack's level. At this point, he's not even at one-hand Chase's level. Anyway, I don't know what happened to turn Jack from "Stun" to "Kill" but it was what we have been waiting for since the nuke went off in hour four and he shot Curtis. From riding under a sanitation truck like a stagecoach in a cowboy movie ( and using one hand to make a cell phone call!) to that first kill where he swept the guards legs and broke his neck like he was opening a jar of pickles, you knew it was on. After his quick killing spree, my joy was quickly destroyed by a phone call from the Chinese and AUDREY! She's like Bauer's kryptonite. How did the Chinese know he was "done"? A bigger question, why did Fayed throw his gun at Jack like it was a 50's episode of Superman?

Dangling

• With seven hours left, here's a couple of plot threads that will probably be forgotten and unresolved:
• Where is Jack's father?
• Who was behind Baby Palmer's assassination attempt?
• Will Baby Palmer ever find out that the Dragonslayer and VP Psycho framed his assassination attempt on Al-Assad?
• Is former President Logan dead?
• Is Josh Bauer Jack's son?

Bauer Moments To Remember:

• Armed with a handgun and one clip, Bauer takes out seven armed terrorists (six with automatic weapons) without getting shot once.
• For the last kill, Bauer fights Fayed man to man. When Fayed thinks he has the upper hand, Bauer trips him, tied a chain around his throat and say, "Say hello to your brother" before he chokes him with the chain. Damn, Jack.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Left Behind"

Kate said it best. "Welcome to the wonderful world of not knowing what the hell is going on."

What I Liked:

• I never get tired of talking about how much I love Elizabeth Mitchell's Juliet. She's like the female Ben
• Locke finally joining the Others (even if he's faking).
• Hurley conning Sawyer into being the leader figure of the beach due to Jack, Kate, Sayid and Locke's absence
• An actual decent Kate flashback
• The return of the smoke monster
• Kate vs. Juliet! In the rain! Then they fall in mud! It was like a horny nerd who is dying got his Make-A-Wish Foundation letter answered.
• Because there are no repeats, the story feels like it's progressing quickly.
• The look on Kate's face after Jack asked about Juliet while she was all crying and pouring her heart out. Consider him moved on.

What I Didn't Like:

• It wasn't a great episode per se but it was good

What We Learned:

• Kate (this time using the name "Lucy") helped Cassidy (Sawyer's con victim from "The Long Con") avoid the cops when she was trying to con a guy into buying fake jewlery
• Cassidy helps Kate confront her mother to ask why she called the cops on her
• Cassidy was pregnant with Sawyer's baby
• The Others and Locke left Othersville
• Juliet does not know what the smoke monster is
• The smoke monster can't get back the sonic fence

Questions:

• Was Juliet really left behind by the Others or is she playing another one of Ben's games?
• If she was really left behind, why?
• Is Locke really with The Others?
• Why did Kate and Juliet wake up a full day ahead of Sayid and Jack?
• Did the smoke monster read Juliet like it did Eko?
• If so, does this mean her days are numbered?
• If the smoke monster isn't a creation of The Others, then what did it come from?
• Is the sonic fence around Othersville more to keep people out or to keep the smoke monster out?
• Did you see how big Hurley's shirts were? What would Hurley have done if his luggage was lost in the crash?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Left Behind"

Movie of the Week: Blades of Glory

Will Ferrell + Sports = Funny

It wasn't on par with his work with Adam McKay (Anchorman, Talladega Nights) but it did make me laugh.

Honestly, I'm biased. Will Ferrell would have to try pretty damn hard to not make me laugh in a stupid movie like this.

I still think Jon Heder is one of the worst actors in the business but he wasn't THAT annoying.

I wish Will Arnett were given more lines because anythign he says is funny.

And Jenna Fischer...



Clearly, The Office isn't doing you justice.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Blades of Glory

24 Season Six: 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM

Body Count: 16 (+2)

The worst day in all our lives continues...

Featuring Special Guest Star Kiefer Sutherland
I kid. Jack was in this episode more than the past three episodes and he even got to use his gun. Can someone please explain to me a) how they conveniently had an ax around to cut of Gredenko's arm and/or b) what Gredenko's game plan was after they cut his arm off? He should have been passed out from shock if not dead right away. Did he just want to die on a beach bleeding to death like he did? Is that why he turned Fayed over to a bunch of American bar flies as opposed to Jack Bauer? We'll never know.

General Hospital a.k.a. Passions a.k.a. CTU
Where was Chloe? I don't care about Milo who apparently so busy sexually harassing Nadia that he allowed hackers to infiltrate CTU and frame Nadia. He so isn't getting any. Luckily for him, Silver Spoons covered it up just...because. Since we've been rehashing season two, can these please blow up CTU again?

The HNIC
I don't even know how to explain this bit. First, Baby Palmer went from being in a coma to being suited up in less than 10 minutes thanks to a shot of adrenaline. Then the VP challenges his presidency under the 25th amendment which apparently states any black President named Palmer can be removed from office for being a pussy. The vote ends in a 7-7 ties which like count outs in wrestling means the titles stays with Palmer but lo and behold, VP says he never officially recognized Karen returning so he says her vote doesn't count. The Dragonslayer says it's going to the Supreme Court. That creepy blond from Invasion offers to perjure herself so that the VP can win his case but the Dragonslayer has the room bugged which is about the 3rd crime he's committed today. Anyway, he convinces (forces) the VP to drop his case and Baby Palmer is President again. So how does he celebrate by launching the nuke the VP was going to launch ANYWAY! Come again?


Bauer Moments To Remember

• "Show me your head." We get a glimpse into the killing process of Jack Bauer.
• After Fayed yells to one of the bar patrons, "I hope he's dead!" in reference to one of the the guys in shot in the bar, Jack gives him a swift kick in the face

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Exposé"

“I’m just a guest-star… and we all know what happens to guest stars.” Indeed, Nikki. Indeed.

What I Liked:

• Hate her or love her, Nikki is hot and now my dreams of a free fall mud wrestling match between her, Kate and Sun have been dashed (although I may be getting a consolation prize next week)
• Boone! Shannon! Arzt! Ethan! Even Vincent!
• This was probably the best written stand alone episode
• All the throwbacks to season one like Boone running around looking for a pen, Arzt being a dick, where Kate found the guns.
• Nikki asking Paulo to promise we won't end up lik Boone and Shannon.
• Sun finally finding out about her fake Others kidnapping
• Nikki's Baywatch/V.I.P-ish show, Exposé (or as Hurley refers to it, "Only the most awesome hour of television ever!") with a cameo by Billy Dee Williams! "Razzle-dazzle!"
• That Paulo found all the shit on the island (the plane, the Pearl hatch, even heard Ben and Juliet's plan for Jack) but was so selfishly focused on finding the diamonds, he kept it to himself.
• The Tales From The Crypt/Twilight Zone ending with "Paulo lies"="Para...lyzed", Medusa spiders and Nikki opening her eyes as she was being buried.

What I Didn't Like:

• This episode is kind of annoying because after all the revelations of The Man From Tallahassee, you just want that story to keep going.
• While I enjoyed the episode, is that really it for Nikki and Paulo?
• Shannon and Boone's awful wigs.
• That the commercial for the episode ruined the entire scene with Sun confronting Sawyer.

What We Learned:

• Nikki was an actress who was working on a show Expose directed by some Aaron Sorkin-esque old guy in Sydney
• Paulo was a chef ("The Wolfgang Puck of Brazil")
• Paulo poisoned the old guy and Nikki and Paulo steal millions of dollars in diamonds
• Arzt was spending his pre-blown up island time cataloging new insect species including the Medusa Spider.

Questions:

• Was it the pheromones of the Medusa Spider that brought all the other spiders out to bite Nikki or was it the smoke monster who could be heard in the background?
• Was Paulo really hiding those diamonds to maintain his relationship with Nikki?
• Was Vincent trying to let everyone know they were still alive?
• How many more people are going to die because there isn't an actual doctor on the beach?
• What was a movie producer doing with millions of dollars worth of diamonds anyway?
• Was this the plan all along for Nikki and Paulo or did the writers cave to the negative reaction their addition to the cast brought?
• Is Charlie's confession to Sun the beginning of tying up all his loose ends before he is killed?
• Is Locke right? Does nothing on this island stay buried for very long?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Exposé"

Movie of the Week: The Lookout

Between this and Brick, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has become a force to be reckoned with.

I can see this movie being compared to Memento because the main character, Chris, is mentally and emotionally handicapped after a car accident and how he overcomes his handicap plays prominently into the outcome of the heist.

It's a pretty straightforward noir/heist that goes wrong flim but it really carried by Gordon-Levitt's performance. Who would have thought this would be the breakout star from 3rd Rock From The Sun. I would consider seeing anything he is in at this point.

Also, Jeff Daniels was funny as Chris' blind roommate, Lewis.

This is a great first film by Scott Frank (he wrote the screenplays for two of my favorite films, Get Shorty and Out of Sight, both adaptations of Elmore Leonard novels). The only problem with the movie is the too neatly wrapped up ending but it is definately worth checking out.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: The Lookout

24 Season Six: 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Body count: 14

I think there was a gas leak in the writer's room this year.

Before I get into my recap, let me go on record that this is the worst season of 24 and regret that I chose this season to blog about. I tried to defend this season as long as I could but we are past the halfway mark and the episodes seem to be getting more and more unwatchable and it doesn't feel like we are building towards anything. Anyway, I'm praying that they turn this season around but I think we have crossed the point of no return.

Jack, Brian Krakow and Timmy! Save The Day

I'll show you Angela! I'll show EVERYONE!!!

Are we serious here? Apparently years after Brian Krakow was rejected by Angela on My So-Called Life, he turned to a life of selling out America to Russian terrorists with the help of his autistic brother who doesn't like red foods (Seriously, Who the fuck came up with that one?). Anyway, Krakow gets himself shot by Jack and another CTU agent who again missed his "taking prisoners" training. Jack then gets this autistic guy to trust him by telling him he's a cop (a cop who just shot your brother in front of you). Then he gets Krakow to get his autistic brother to help trap Gredenko. I almost wish he got shot so Jack would have that on his conscious too. The best part is when Jack tells Brady (the autistic guy) through the com link in his ear to a) pretend you can't hear me and b) duck when I tell you to because the actor is so engrossed in his role he decides that Brady would spend too much time grappling with A to do B. Also, I thought Jack had broken ribs? He ran across the street and shot that Russian pretty quickly. And who knew CTU had tranquilizers? I just thought they shot everyone and hoped they didn't die before getting the information they needed. Anyway, they got Gredenko and guess what? He wants a deal to help them catch Fayed.

One CTU Life To Live
So Nadia wasn't a mole. She now transfers from the list to CTU moles to the list of people accused of being moles at CTU. Silver Spoons to exonerate her from another friend, Johnson, who he helped out in "Denver" (every episode featuring Silver Spoons has had a mention to Denver and it only gets more annoying) but that friend tries to screw him over with Milo. Silver Spoons threatens Johnson who will probably be the victim of some friendly fire by season's end. I'm sorry, Silver Spoons is not threatening. Anyway, Milo tries to mend bridges with Nadia so he still has a chance to sleep with her. She tries to reject him and he awkwardly grabs the back of her hair violently (I'm sure they were going for passionate), pauses for a second and kisses her THEN apologizes for thinking she was guilty. I'm sorry, Milo and Nadia, but you are no Tony Almeida and Michelle Dressler.

Coma? What Coma?
So Daniels is intent on launching a nuclear weapon at the unnamed Middle East county that Fayed is from. So Karen Hayes conspires with Sandra Palmer (she's back1 Regina, fire your agent) to force Baby Palmer out of his coma which could lead to permanent brain damage so he could stop a nuclear attack right now. so what if he woke up, stopped the launch, then started drooling uncontrollably and made Daniels President for good? Well, it didn't come to that because in ten minutes they were able to wake up Wayne, get him up to speed on the situation and stop the attack. He was more decisive coming out of the coma than he was before he was almost blown up. So next week begins another Palmer tradition: being called unfit by your Vice President.

Bauer Moments To Remember: None

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Movie of the Week: First Snow

I really wanted to like this movie but alas, I could not.


Guy Pearce was great. He's always great that couldn't save this drivel.

Once Jimmy (Pearce) finds out that he is destined to die before the "first snow" ends by a fortune teller (J.K. Simmons), the movie picks up the pace a little bit but eventually all of Jimmy's paranoid actions get confusing and boring even though you can tell that the director, Mark Fergus, was going for tense and mysterious.

The end was as anti-climatic as the end of a movie could possibly be.

Everyone who complained that the end of Children of Men was anti-climatic needs to sit through this and apologize to Cuaron.

Thank God this was a free screening.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: First Snow

Lost Season Three: "The Man From Tallahassee"

If I were Jack, I would have snatched the first gun in arms length and bullet between Locke's eyes.

What I Liked

• The interaction between Ben and Locke. Ben kept trying to mess with his head and Locke was done talking. He could give a shit about what Ben said, magic box, submarine, he was intent on blowing up that sub (Best exchange: Ben - "On this island, there's a very large box, and whatever you imagine ... when you open that box, there it would be. What would you say about that?" Locke - "I'd say I hope that box is big enough to imagine yourself up a new submarine.")Too bad it played right into Ben's hands.
• Sayid finally hinting to Alex that maybe her mother isn't dead and all is not as it seems
• I know people hate the whole Jack-Kate-Sawyer thing but the scenes between Kate and Jack were great as well as the jealous looks from Juliet and Kate.
• Locke's backstory finally revealed that which we've been wondering since "Walkabout" in the first season
• How Locke got paralyzed. I assumed that his father hit him with a car or something but damn, that guy is cold blooded like Rick James.

What I Didn't Like:

• Is it too late to recast the girl playing Alex? She's awful. I hope there's not too much asked of her this season acting-wise.
• After spending the first 7 episodes with three 815ers captured by the Others, now we have four.
• You think Kate after being captured already would have figured that there is not one inch of Othersville that didn't have a camera
• Except Ben's house. You think your LEADER would have a camera in his room.

What We Learned:

• After getting his kidney stolen and ruining his hippie pot farm, John Locke was on disability
• Peter Talbot, the son of a woman Adam Seward (a.k.a. Anthony Cooper a.k.a. Papa Locke), was planning to marry came to Locke to to a little fact checking on him. Locke denied knowing him.
• Locke confronted his father and told him if he didn't leave behind his plan to con this old rich lady out of her money, he would spill the beans.
• The cops show up and tell Locke that Peter is dead.
• Locke goes to confront Cooper about Peter when he says he had nothing to do with it and that the wedding with Mama Moneybags if off. Locke goes to call the old lady to confirm and Cooper PUSHES LOCKE OUT OF AN EIGHT STORY WINDOW. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Locke as paralyzed.
• Jack struck a deal with Ben to take the last submarine ride off the island with Juliet.
• Ben is one of the few people who were born on the island
• Ben is concerned about his perception amongst his fellow Others
• Ben can't figure out why the island cured Locke and not him.
• If the submarine had left, it would not have been able to return due to the beacon being ruined after the Hatch imploded?

Questions:

• What was Locke's motivation for blowing up the sub and essentially trapping EVERYONE on the island? Does he really not want to leave and wants company?
• Was that really Locke's father in the room or was it a manifestation of the "Magic Box"?
• Is there really a "Magic Box" or was that a metaphor?
• Was Jack really planning on sending back help for the other 815ers?
• Has Jack been brainwashed?
  
• Is Richard (the guy who took Locke and Ben to the room with Cooper and the guy who recruited Juliet) more trusted than the other...um...Others?
• How will The Others who were under the illusion that they could leave whenever they wanted to react to the destruction of their own means of departure?
• Who and where are Ben's parents?
• Is Cooper the same con man that conned Sawyer's family, which I guess would make him "Sawyer Prime" or "The Original Sawyer"?
• If the "Magic Box" is real, is it connected to the smoke monster or the unexplained things 815ers have been seeing (Jack's dad, Kate's horse, Eko's brother)?
• If the Magic Box is real, is Cooper the best they could do?
• Will Locke join the Others too? Who are we kidding? Locke will do whatever Ben wants him to do like he's Dracula.

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "The Man From Tallahassee"

24 Season Six: 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Body Count: 12

Even though this is probably the worst season of 24 ever, there is one bright spot...

AUDREY RAINES IS DEAD!

I AM SO HAPPY!!!

Nothing against Kim Raver because I liked her in The Nine but I hated Audrey Raines.

"Jack I know you are on your way to save
the world but I think now is the best time
to talk about our feelings."

Anyway, on to the episode...

First of all, Milo, stop making googly eyes at my woman! Nadia doesn't want you. Besides she may be the seventh CTU mole in...six seasons. I love how everyone presumes that Milo is acting right because he's had some more alcohol (which Chloe disproved by laying one on him( but either a) Silver Spoons choked some sense into him or b) he's the real mole and just set up Nadia. He's the only one aside from Chloe with the skills to do it.

I don't understand why Jack is mad that no one told him Audrey was dead. When, Jack? When were they going to tell you? Right before you were going to sacrifice your life? "Hey Jack, before you get out the car and probably get killed, you should know Audrey died in China looking for you. Ok. See ya later." I shouldn't be mad. At least I got to SEE Jack. The producers are really screwing the pooch with this Jack-less season. This is like watching a Superman movie but we spend more time with Lois Lane and The Daily Planet and not even Lex Luthor but Otis and Miss Teschmacher . Actually, that's kinda what Superman Returns was like.

So Audrey's dead but Marilyn wastes no time going in for the kill. Jack dodged that kiss like a direct order from Division.

While in the Presidential bunker (do they really need to be in there? They know all the nukes are in California. It must smell in there.), Vice President Daniels must have dreamed his entire life what it would be like to have his finger on the button. Well, he's not going to let anyone ruin this dream for him. Not the Dragonslayer. Not Karen "Conservative Monkey Wrench" Hayes. Not Jack Bauer averting yet another nuclear explosion with his fancy Atari skills (I bet he could land the plane in Top Gun on the NES. I always sucked at that.). He is going to nuke that unnamed country no matter what. Time to wake up Baby Palmer. What's the point of waking him up? He'll wake up, say "no" to the nuke then fall into a coma giving Daniels complete control.

Bauer Moments To Remember: NONE (He only had 10 minutes of screen time to work with)

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Par Avion"

Touchdown!

What I Liked:

• Claire's backstory which confirms something which many of us have suspected for a long-time.
  
• Charlie stares at Desmond like the harbinger of death
• We're already at the Others' camp
• Locke's increasingly bizarre behavior
• Mikhail's grisly death
• Another reference to "The List"

What I Didn't Like:

• Now that Sawyer can't say nicknames, is he just going to keep quiet?
• The backstory took up too much of the episode
• I didn't really understand why Desmond prevented Claire, Sun and Jin from catching the birds

What We Learned:

• Claire used to be a goth girl who worked a tattoo parlor
• She caused a car accident that left her mother with severe head trauma that left her in a coma
• Christian Shepard is Claire's father
• Sayid and Kate are definately not on "The List". Locke, maybe.
• Mikhail was recruited by a "great man"
• Mikhail got to the island via submarine
  
• Ben is not at the top of The Others food chain
  
• Since the Hatch imploded, the underwater beacon that allowed the Others to take the submarine out and return doesn't work
• Despite Dr. Shepard's words, Claire couldn't pull the plug on her mother and she's still hooked up to machines
• The 815ers have been on the island for 80 days.
• Locke did know about the C4 in the farm and took one for himself.
  

Questions:

• How are Sayid, Kate, Danielle and Locke planning to get back over the pylons?
• Is Locke on "The List"?
• What happened between the time Locke entered 77 on the computer in the last episode and the farm blowing up?
• What was Mikhail going to say to Locke before he was interrupted ("The John Locke I know was par—.")?
• Do the Others know that Claire and Jack are half-siblings?
• What is The Others' policy on being taken prisoner that makes them rather death?
• Who is the real leader of The Others? Jacob?
• What happened to Jack to make him all buddy buddy with The Others now?
• How many more backstory's is Dr. Christian Shepard going to appear in? (So far, he 's connected to Claire, Sawyer and Ana Lucia)
  
• Seriously, what the fuck is up with Locke?
  

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Par Avion"

24 Season Six: 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM

Body count: 10

We finally reach double digits.

There's A New Sheriff In Town
Vice President Cy Tolliver has been President for a little over an hour and he's already a better President than Baby Palmer. Sure, he's dirty for framing Assad for the assassination attempt against Baby Palmer and then threating war against the unnamed country, but damn he is scary.


I'm still talking!
CTU & Silver Spoons
Nice to see Chloe being a bitch again even if it was to ex-President Logan. Enter Silver Spoons. He was immediately a dick especially to Milo. I wonder what happened in Denver. I didn't like him...until he choked Morris.

A Visit To Crazy Town
Super Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce returns...as First Lady Martha Logan's lover. I didn't need to know all that. I never want to see her feed him anything. Seriously, how did Jean Smart not win the Outstanding Supporting Actress Emmy? Anyway, I digress. How did Logan was best friends with the Russian president's wife, Anya, if they haven't spoken in two years? When Martha was talking to Logan about her and Aaron, she was two seconds away from saying, "Aaron has a bigger penis than you do, Charles. What do you think about that?" I swear that I had just written down via IM, "Martha looks like she could slit Logan's throat at any moment". Well, I was off by a couple of inches.

Adventures At The Russian Consulate
The biggest weakness of this season of 24 is there hasn't been enough Jack. Clearly, the Russians did not read Jack Bauer's file if they thought putting one guard on Bauer would be enough to contain him. Somehow, I don't think when the Russian president gave CTU permission to storm the consulate that he was giving Silver Spoon and crew the right to kill EVERY SINGLE RUSSIAN WHO WORKED THERE. Anyway, they freed Jack and now they know where to find Gredanko and Fayeed but guess what, too late!

Bauer Moments To Remember

• Before Vaseli could kill him, he takes the belt of a dead man, flings it up around Vaseli's wrist and gets the gum away from him

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM

Movie of the Week: 300 - The IMAX Experience

This movie is every teenage boy’s wet dream for a film.

Comic/Video game style violence…check
Beautiful women…check
Nudity and sex…check

Even though some of the dialogue is laughable (Frank Miller’s words were meant to be read, not spoken) and the fact that 75% of the dialogue is yelled, you can’t help but get a charge watching this movie. People who read Frank Miller and Lynn Varley’s original graphic novel will appreciate this movie much more than your average movie goer (which is why most major reviewers are calling this movie ‘shit’ and all comic book related websites are calling this a classic).

The battles are extremely well-done and BEAUTIFUL on the big IMAX screen (Frankly, consdering that most of the movie is fighting, it is really worth the extra 4-5 bucks for IMAX). Even though you ultimately know the end (Spoiler alert: they lose), Snyder still manages to create tension.

If you want them to be there can be racial undertones of a perfect white army crushing all the brown and yellow people or political undertones with the scenes of the Queen trying to negotiate with the counsel, but I chose to ignore them.

I have to admit that I was thrilled seeing Dominic West (McNulty from The Wire) doing a movie…ANY movie especially as a villain. And it’s a testament to how good he was that his final scene drew the most crowd reaction.

Gerard Butler and Lena Hedley were great as King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo but man, Butler’s throat must have been killing him after they were finished filming.

Ultimately, this succeeds as another good example of a movie using a graphic novel not only as inspiration but also as a storyboard.

I have more faith now than I did before in Snyder’s attempt to bring Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen to the big screen.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: 300 - The IMAX Experience

Lost Season Three: "Enter 77"

Are you happy? Some answers…wait no, those might have been lies. So I guess more questions.

What I Liked:

• Sayid is still the biggest badass on the island
• His flashback, while good, was kept short. I hope that is a sign for the future as we are running out of things to learn about these castaways.
• Sawyer asking Nikki, “Who the hell are you?”
• The introduction of Mikhail, the newest Other
• We learned more about the Others in this episode than in episodes featuring the Others
• The return and exit of Ms. Klugh

What I Didn’t Like:

• As much as I enjoyed Sawyer getting whooped by Hurley in ping-pong, considering how many episodes actually constitutes a week on this show, I don’t think I can go the rest of the season without a Sawyer nickname
• Nikki and Paulo were given lines. I know once we get their flashbacks I will be more interested in them but right now, they are the new Shannon and Boone.
• Since when is Locke an idiot? Didn’t he watch War Games? Talking computers are not to be messed with.

What We Learned:

• Sayid was a chef under the name Najeem in France where he was kidnapped by the family of one of the women he tortured
• There was a war between the Others/Hostiles and Dharma and it appears the Others won
• There is power cables running throughout the island
• The Flame station was for communications and they lost communications via satellite and sonar after the Hatch imploded.
• Hurley is a great ping-pong player due to his time spent in an institution
• Paulo likes to flag magazines
• It is likely that Kate’s horse came from the Flame Station or the Othersville.
• It sucks to be an African-American cast member
• Like most average Americans over the age of 40, Locke should not be trusted with a computer

Questions:

• How much of Mikhail’s story is actually true in reference to what happened to the Dharma group?
• Was Danielle really just hiding out in the forest or was she up to something else?
• Why did Ms. Klugh tell Mikhail to shoot her?
• Since Locke entered 77 into the computer, is the Dharma Initiative now aware that their hatches have been compromised?
• What was the Dharma Initiative’s true purpose?
• How long have the Others been on the island?
• Is the cat Nadia the only animal that survived the explosion?
• Does Sayid now understand why Jack always hates going into the forest with Locke?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Enter 77"

24 Season Six: 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM

Body count: 7

This season is going to have the lowest body count in 24 history. No wonder fans are unhappy.

Boom in the Presidential Bunker:
Another year, another fairly successful assassination attempt. Assad’s dead and who is surprised? Baby Palmer isn’t and, again, who is surprised? I immediately liked the forcefulness that Powers Boothe brings as the acting president but as the producers sense that maybe we might like this guy over Baby Palmer, he immediately wants to frame Assad for Palmer’s assassination. Didn’t they have security camera in EVERY room? I mean, they WERE keeping the President of the United States there. And how naïve was Reed? You just clocked this guy over his head with a flashlight when he was getting ready to betray you but you have faith he will play ball now that the deed is done? I’m glad Lennox waited about 15 seconds to turn them in.

CTU2D2
They really are dependent on Jack, aren’t they? How did they function while he was in prison? Oh yeah, I forgot. That’s why they brought him back. Nice to see Karen Hayes caught with flight delays. They really didn’t do jack squat. They were just waiting for Jack to do something so they could react like, him getting caught by the Russian guards. Nice to see Buchanan take a play out of the Bauer handbook. WWJBD? Let’s not go through the proper channels. Let’s assemble a team to extract Jack from Russian territory. At least we were spared from Morris’ incessant whining.

Jack and Logan Sitting In A Limo
Where did Jack get that suit? I’m glad President Logan reminded Jack, “Hey, didn’t you just get back from a two year stint in a Chinese prison for doing the same thing? What are you an idiot?” I’m going to stop doing a kill count and start doing a torture count. You know what occurred to me? Jack Bauer has not been a paid employee of the U.S. government since the end of season four. Wasn’t that like 3-4 years ago in their world? What kind of pro bono work is this? So we FINALLY get a sense of Gredanko’s plan: Unmanned aerial drones with the nukes. Nice. I like a little originality. Now that jack has been captured, does anyone remember that President Douchebag is sitting in that limo by himself?

Bauer Moments To Remember:

• Jack cut off the Russian diplomats pinky finger with a cigar cutter. Who says torture doesn’t work?

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Trisha Tanaka Is Dead"

Apparently the producers of Lost thought Little Miss Sunshine should have won best picture.

What I Liked:

• The return of Vincent, Randy and Danielle Rosseau!
• It's been too long since Lost has some levity. I feel like there hasn't been a laugh since Michael shot Ana-Lucia and Libby
• I missed having Sawyer interact with the rest of the 815ers. He was in rare form:
• Well, look at that. Somebody's hooked on phonics!
• Skeletor seems to like it.
• Nicknames for Charlie (Oliver Twist, the Munchkin, Jiminy Cricket) and Hurley (Snuffy, International House of Pancakes, Jumbotron)
• Hurley's comeback to Sawyer: "Shut up, Red...neck Man!"
• Sawyer teaching Jin the three phrases every married man should know.
• Kate telling Danielle about Alex

What I didn't like:

• Again, ABC's ads overhyped the episode as some big revealing one when it was a fun stand alone.
• No more sweaty Kate (What? Mrs. Reyes isn't the only one with needs)
  

What We Learned:

• Hurley's dad abandoned him and then came back when he won the lotto
• Johnny ran off with Starla from the "Everybody Hates Hurley" episode
• Dharma had a van, gas, light beer and were trying to build a road sometime between the release dates of Rocky II and Rocky III by Hurley's estimation
• A meteor really did destroy the Chicken Shack
• Hurley's dad gave him that fateful chocolate bar that turned him into the man he is today
• Sawyer had mono as a child and all he could watch in the trailer was Little House on the Prairie
  

Questions:

• How many days has passed since the hatch imploded?
• What killed Roger and how long had he been there?
• Why didn't Kate say anything to Alex about Danielle?
• What's Vincent been eating since his two caretakers are gone?
  

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Trisha Tanaka Is Dead"

24 Season Six: 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Body Count: 7

I hope Obama doesn't watch 24.

Presidential Bunker:
It's a shame that Baby Palmer got blown up just when he was starting to grow a pair. His conversation with the diplomat were the first signs of him acting presidential. Bauer getting him to release Logan even though he had his brother killed showed him acting like a true Palmer. I don't understand how they thought that bomb was going to kill the President when he wasn't even that close to it. Anyway, he's not dead. They had the balls to nuke Valencia but to kill two Black presidents would just be too much to handle. And Lennox proved that only Jack Bauer can escape from being duct tape to a pipe. Jack should teach at The Learning Annex.

Fayed, Gredenko and The Nukes:
I have no idea what's going on here but these bad guys suck.

CTU:
It would be nice if everyone acted with the urgency that three nukes should bring. Just when I thought, "Finally, someone in the show takes a dump," it ends up Morris was drinking in the stall. I'm beginning to miss Edgar's lisp ("Chwoe?"). Nice pointless cameo by Bart Simpson as Morris former AA sponsor. By the way, I haven't mentioned this so far this season but I would like to thank the producers and casting directors of 24 for filling the void left Reiko Aylesworth (Michelle Dessler).

Nadia, I will always note your objection

Bauer and Logan:
I'm glad we are done with the Bauer family. If I had to endure one more inapproriate Bauer face stroke, I was going to puke. It was great to get back to the great acting of Gregory Itzin but they filmed the showdown between Jack and Logan like a Spanish telenovela. I was kind of annoyed that Logan and Jack took their sweet ass time getting ready to go. Another day, another communist consulate. Second times a charm. Oh wait. It's third. Jack's in trouble again.

No Bauer moments to remember but I hope I can forget the creepy face stroking.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Stranger in a Strange Land"

He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us.

What I Liked:

• Only Ben can be creepy lying on his side immobilized
• All interactions between Jack and Juliet
• Sawyer's man-to-boy talk with Karl
  

What I didn't like:

• ABC's ads for this episode wrote a check the episode couldn't cash
  
• Jack's backstory hit the trifecta - it was boring, confusing and seemingly pointless. I think we should be done with Jack backstories for the time being.
• I don't care how hot Bai Ling (Achera) is. Her acting is awful.
• The music montage at the end. Save that trite for Grey's Anatomy
  
• This was the worst episode of season three.
  

What We Learned:

• The Others have a sheriff named Isabel
• The Others have an "eye for an eye" system for killing one of their own
• The kidnapped Tallies, including Cindy and the two kids, seem to be doing fine but they don't seem to know about Ana Lucia's fate.
• The Others have a big boat.
• Jack's tattoo translates to "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us."
• Sawyer thinks he got a mercy lay from Kate.
• Karl has never heard of The Brady Bunch
  

Questions:

• Was Juliet really on trial or was this yet another test for Jack?
• What does the "better life" Karl gives as the reason for kidnapping children entail?
• With the exception of Claire, how come only the Tallies were kidnapped?
• What does the branding on Juliet's back mean?
• Why did Achera's brother and friends beat the snot out of Jack?
• Do Cindy and the kidnapped tallies live on this smaller island or are they in Othersville on the big island?
• Was Karl born on the island?
  
• Do the producers cringe when they see ABC ads for Lost promising that THREE BIG SECRETS WILL EB REVEALED?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Stranger in a Strange Land"

24 Season Six: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM

Body Count: 7

If I wanted to see all this family drama, I would be watching General Hospital

Presidential Bunker:

DAMMMN, Lennox! You got knocked DA FUCK out!!!

So while Lennox has a change of heart (I guess it would be awkward to have a 10 minute meeting with someone then facilitate their murder) and gets a flashlight to the head for it, Baby Palmer inches closer and closer to his death. Where's Super Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce when you need him?

Fayed and The Nuclear Bomb:
Well, while Jack is all distracted by his personal problems, Fayed is driving around with three nukes and no one has the faintest clue where he is and no one seems to care. For a second, I was glad to see CTU can operate a mission without Jack but then Dmitri Gredenko (a.k.a Boris the Bullet Dodger from Snatch) got away so I guess it's always a bad move. Curtis is already missed.

CTU:
Chloe might want to give Milo a second movie date because it appears you chose wrong. Milo took a bullet for his country and Morris gargled some whiskey. Yawn, why is Morris getting so much camera time? I'm already bored.

Bauer Family Values:
Ok, Marilyn, make up your mind. Do you a) want to save your son Josh or b) sleep with Jack? Because you seem to be flip-flopping. Jack is on full tease mode. Slowly strapping on her bullet proof vest, telling her how to shoot, I guess in Jack's mind, that counts for foreplay. Anyway, after plotting to kill his son for the first quarter of the season, when he has him unarmed and on his knees, Papa Bauer pulls a Batman and disappears silently while Jack pours his heart out to Daddy. Anyway, this led to the moment we hope can redeem this season, the return of President Douchebag.

Bauer Moments To Remember:

• Jack giving Marilyn the "Don't Lie To Me!!!" choke hold
  
• Jack saying to his father, "I want you to know I never wanted you to feel like I had turned my back on you, that I had turned my back on the family" while he had his back turned to him

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Flashes Before Your Eyes"

Only fools are enslaved by time and space, indeed¹

What I Liked:

• "That Guy Sees The Future, Dude." As much as I loved our adventures on Alcatraz, I missed Hurley
• That was the coolest flashback ever...if it was indeed a flashback at all. There were hints of Donnie Darko and The Wizard of Oz in his "flashback" and Final Destination on the island with Charlie
• The song Charlie was singing in Desmond's past, Oasis' Wonderwall, particularly the part of the song he sang: "Because maybe, You're gonna be the one that saves me..." which makes sense now
• That Charlie is the one destined to die. You have no idea how happy that makes me. he's become such a prick.
  

What I didn't like:

• I forgot how much I disliked Charlie at this point.

What We Learned:

• After he turned the key, Desmond appears to be sent back in the past as he's moving in with Penny with knowledge of the future.
  
• Desmond David Hume - they sure love philosophers
• He used to be a set designer for the Royal Shakespeare Company
• He moved in with Penny and asked Papa Widmore for her hand in marriage and was rejected in the cruelest yet coolest way humanly possible²
• Desmond met Charlie Hieronymus Pace outside Widmore Industries who was a street performer at the time.
• After being told that he can't escape his future, Desmond broke up with Penny and then carried on with the events that led to him ending up at the island.
  

Questions:

• Was that really a flashback?
  
• The creepy jewelry store owner played by Fionnula Flanagan was the creepy old lady in The Others starring Nicole Kidman. Coincidence?
• Who was that old woman? Was she real? Will we see her again?
  
• Are the flashbacks we seeing actually flashbacks or is everyone experiencing the same phenomenon - as in, when we see the characters' flashbacks are they reliving that moment again - but only Desmond is conscious of it now?
• By saving Charlie, what damage is Desmond doing to their reality?
• Does Claire always go for a swim fully dressed?

¹: Check this video out for an explanation
²: If I ever have a daughter and some substandard, by my opinion, askes me for her hand in marriage, I can only hope to remember that speech.

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Flashes Before Your Eyes"

24 Season Six: 1:00pm - 2:00pm / 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM

Body Count: 5 (not counting the people Jack led into a trap...again)

Papa Bauer's evil knows no bounds

Jack, I am your father.

Presidential Bunker:
It seems we can't have a Palmer presidency without either a) an assassination attempt or b) a coup. Fortunately for Baby Palmer, it appears he's getting a two-fer. Is it wrong that I kinda hope they succeed? Nothing against Baby Palmer but if I had to chose between Baby Palmer and Powers Boothe, well...HIS NAME IS POWERS BOOTHE, C'MON! I did enjoy Lennox's little "I quit" tantrum.

Fayed and The Nuclear Bomb:
Once again, 24 shows us that torture can work. Fayed apparently went to the same terrorist camp that Marwan from Season Five came from or maybe he read his book, "How To Escape Bauer", because that little tunnel was straight out of the Marwan playbook. Rita was an idiot if she thought they were going to hand her 7 million, then again so was McCarthy. Morris proves that when push comes to shove (more like when drill comes to shoulder), the British will not die for innocent Americans, they'll only "wish they were dead".

CTU:
We already covered Morris being a limey wimp. Chloe had the best line of the night: "I'm really glad Fayed didn't kill you this morning." I'm glad Buchanon was willing to adjust the report to Division. He's grown so much from his auspicious beginnings as the guy who was sleeping with Michelle while Tony was getting drunk watching soccer. And I really underestimated Milo. I thought he was a dead man but he was quite resourceful in the field. Still no mole but there's still time.

The Bauer Bunch:
With the exception of Josh, everyone seemed to take the fact that Graem was dead pretty well. Jack pretty much admitted he wanted him dead. Marilyn treated it as as afterthought and wasted no time shining those blue eyes at Jack. If everything goes according to his plan (which it won't), Papa Bauer will have:

• Killed his two sons (but not before guilting one into believing he killed the other)
• Killed the President of the United States (or at least his "company" will)
• Kidnapped his grandson.

Also, if it wasn't clear enough, Josh has to be Jack's son. He has the Bauer hostage gene that is so dominant in Kim. Plus, he has a sense for being lied to. Too bad he doesn't have the Sutherland acting gene. Next week, Marilyn feels the five fingers of Jack around her throat. Good, because the last thing Jack needs is another woman who wants to talk about him about feelings in the midst of a crisis. Papa Bauer admitted too much on the phone with Marilyn. Now Jack will have all the information he needs to not need therapy after committing patricide.

Bauer Moments To Remember:

• Two kills with the shotgun. Another first for Bauer. I feel like the writers went into a gun shop and said "What hasn't Jack killed someone with?"
• Jack defuses a nuclear bomb and handles Chloe's general personality disorder without sweating (unlike Chloe who looked like she needed to change her shirt
• The digust in his voice when he admonished Morris for building Fayed a functional device. Jack cannot comprehend human beings who would rather die than help terrorists. Morris is ruined for life. Poor Chloe. Tat man will never have an erection again without the help of Levitra.
• The moment when Jack walks back into CTU and everyone stops like they just saw God. Like, "Oh my God, he's DOES exist!"

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 1:00pm - 2:00pm / 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM

Lost Season Three: "Not In Portland"

"TGI Wednesday, am I right? Gonna go home, get my beer on, get my Lost on."
- Andy from The Office

What I Liked:

• Elizabeth Mitchell is officially the best actress on the show right now.
• The casting: Calamity Jane from Deadwood! Mac from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia! The creepy short guy in everything who you never feel any sympathy for (OZ, 24, Homicide, etc.)
• The look on Jack's face when he found out there were TWO islands
• New characters means new nicknames for Sawyer
• "I can't believe you fell for the old Wookie prisoner gag." There better be a Lost flashback with Sawyer as a teenaged Star Wars geek.
• How creepy was Ben waking up?
  
• Bye Danny.

What I didn't like:

• I think this should have been the last episode before the break. Even though episode six had more of a dramatic ending, this one would have quieted some of the clamoring with Sawyer and Kate heading back to the island
• Juliet's hair. I think the only good thing about her being stuck on that island is she's been kept away from whatever hair products she was using.
• Jack finally asked a smart question - why didn't they take Ben to a surgeon off the island - and right before Tom's about to answer, of course, the surgery goes awry.

What We Learned:

• Unlike Ben, Juliet was not born on the island. She's from Miami.
  
• Juliet Burke - medical researcher who impregnated her sister with experimental drugs.
• Juliet was married to her boss who has a penchant for sleeping with medical researchers
  
• The Others and Sawyer shoot like Stormtroopers.
• Juliet used to be meek.
• Mittelos Bioscience recruited her. One of her recruiters was the guy with the awful accent on Suddenly Susan. The other was Ethan Rom!
• Alex is considered Ben's daughter.
• The Others have a programming room a la Clockwork Orange. (Some of the messages were "Plant a good seed and you will joyfully gather fruit," "Everything changes," "We are the causes of our own suffering," "God loves you as he loved Jacob," and "Think about your life."
• Juliet's ex-husband was hit by a bus right in front of her a la Final Destination.
• Juliet has been on the island 3 years, 2 months and 28 days.
• Kate is more of a badass than Sawyer
  

Questions:

• Does Alex know about Danielle or has she always believed that Ben was her father?
• Who else is locked up in that programming facility that they rescued Karl from?
• What about the island is making everyone infertile if that is indeed the reason they brought Juliet to the island?
• What was Ethan doing outside of Juliet's sister's apartment at the beginning of the episode?
  
• Who is privately funding Mittelos Bioscience (which is an anagram for "Lost Time")?
• Who the hell is Jacob?
  
• Why did they want Kate and Sawyer?
• To re-ask Jack's question, if they can get on and off the island, why didn't they bring to a surgeon off the island?
• Was it just a coincidence that Juliet's husband was hit by a bus? (Ok, that one is pretty clear)
• What was Juliet's plan if Jack had gone along with her plan and killed Ben?
  
• What is Ben's issue with Karl, Alex's boyfriend?
  
• Is Tom gay?
• Was Juliet's sister the woman Jack's father killed on the operating table when he was drunk? (Personal theory of mine)
• Does ABC really need another Dr. Burke and Dr. Shepard?

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "Not In Portland"

24 Season Six: 12:00pm - 1:00pm

Body Count: 3

Advantage Bauer

Papa Bauer, that is.

That'll do, Graem. That'll do.

I knew something was fishy when he shot that guy unarmed so Jack couldn't ask him any questions.

Oh, Graem, we hardly knew you.

But you shouldn't have been so afriad to die. Confessing to Jack that you were behind the deaths of Palmer, Tony and Michelle was as much of a suicide attempt as slitting your wrists.

I was about to say 24 jumped the shark when it appeared Morris' brother was a victim of the nuclear fallout which would have made him the third CTU techie to have a family member killed by terrorist act (Adam, who went on to play Sylar in Season Three lost his sister to the virus and Edgar in Season Four lost his mother to the fallout from the nuclear plant meltdown). Luckily for me, that was not the case. Unfortunately for Morris, he's about to experience some torture.

Appears that the President has gotten his balls back but it also appears we have yet another duplicitous Vice President.

Also, the return of Agent Burke and the interrogation case!!!

On to the Bauer moments:

• Good to see some Father & Son killing. For them, it's like going fishing.
• Apparently, Jack's ability to protect people is well known in his family circle
• Jack to Graem: "I'm going to kill you my way! 8 CCs!!!"
  
• Papa Bauer pretty much put Jack on timeout with that look when he was about to kill Graem.
  

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 12:00pm - 1:00pm

24 Season Six: 11:00am - 12:00pm

Body Count: 2 (sigh...still)

I don't know how much longer I can watch without a Bauer kill

I guess now I have to specify that I mean a JACK Bauer kill as Graham "Bluetooth" Bauer has vicariously added to CTU agents to his own kill count.

Advantage Bluetooth.

And in the bunker, The Dragonslayer adds Karen Hayes to his career kill count.

HAND IN YOUR RESIGNATION, KAREN

I don't understand how Wayne Palmer got elected president with a bad ass like Powers Boothe as his vice president.

We were denied any good Bauer moments has Jack's torture and emasculation of his brother was pretty much kept off camera.

Step it up, people.

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 11:00am - 12:00pm

24 Season Six: 10:00am - 11:00am

Body Count: 2

Here's the story of a man named Bauer,
Who was busy with two boys of his own,
They were three men, killing all together,
Yet they were all alone.



These are the days of our lives:

• I think the radiation transformed the p*ssy from the first four hours into the Jack Bauer who can kill 12 men in 10 minutes.
  
• Jack Bauer. CTU agent and Rescue 911.
  
• HOLY SHIT! Jack's brother is the leader of the Bluetooth cabal!!! His own brother tried to frame him for President Palmer's murder AND tried to have him killed.
  
• Annnnnnd now we know why...Graham's wife got sloppy Bauer seconds. This is like The Count of Monte Bauer.
  
• Jack was clearly slumming with Audrey and Kate Warner.
• Hm. Josh looks more like Jack.....uh oh.
• Graham did not inherit the Bauer chin.
• Jack Bauer is not his brother's keeper.
• Are there still warnings on plastic bags about suffocating? if so, Jack Bauer just ignored them.
  

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 10:00am - 11:00am

24 Season Six: 8:00am - 9:00am/9:00am - 10:00am

Body Count: 2

President Wayne Palmer, don't run for re-election.



This is the event they have been teasing since Day Two.

It finally happened.

In hour four, no less...

Not many favorite Jack Bauer moments:

• Carjack Bauer: "Don't get up!"
  
• Curtis?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Still...nice shot! The ghost of Tony Almeida should have come down and warned Curtis.
  

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 8:00am - 9:00am/9:00am - 10:00am

24 Season Six: 6:00am - 7:00am/7:00am - 8:00am

Body Count: 1



Wow. Let's add to the legacy of Bauer, shall we?

• Makes his first kill by BITING HIS JUGULAR but having the foresight to hold his neck long enough grab the keys to his cuffs
• During a struggle with a suicide bomber on a subway, he pulls his tie around the poll and pulls his head into it.
  
• Kicks the aforementioned suicide bomber out the back to the subway car (It doesn't count as a Bauer kill because the bomber pressed the detonator)
  

Continue reading 24 Season Six: 6:00am - 7:00am/7:00am - 8:00am

Melanism.com's Top 10 Movies of 2006

In my particular order...

1. Children of Men
2. Pan's Labyrinth
3. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
4. The Fountain
5. The Departed
6. Little Miss Sunshine
7. Notes on a Scandal
8. Thank You For Smoking
9. The Science of Sleep
10. Monster House
    

What were yours?

Continue reading Melanism.com's Top 10 Movies of 2006

Movie of the Week...No...Year: Children of Men

If this isn't the best movie of the year, than tell me what is?

Part science fiction, part war movie, I don't even know if I saw a movie last year that was better than this.

This is why I go to the movies almost every week, for the hope that I will see something like this.

I don't even know where to begin...or end for that matter.

I appreciate cinematography but never really "notice" it but there are two amazing long takes, one involving an ambush and another a full out battle that it up there with Saving Private Ryan.

The world that director Alfonso Cuarón and cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki create is incredibly detailed. What happened in the future isn't directly told to us in some long drawn out speech. It's all in the background, on the news reports, newspaper clippings, graffiti, etc. It kind of reminds me of Brian Wood's Vertigo comic, DMZ, in that way. You see how civilization fell apart. The muted tones make bleak London look utterly hopeless. They create a future that seems a little too plausible. I can't imagine that they won't both be nominated for Oscars.

The acting is top-notch. Clive Owen's (Theo) transformation from a man who has nothing to live for to a man willing to sacrifice everything for the future confirms he's one of the best actors out (and I'm willing to forgive him for King Arthur but I guess everyone's got to pay the bills). Michael Caine adds levity and perspective as Theo's old friend and confidant, Jasper. I can't imagine that they won't both be nominated for Oscars.

I can talk about this movie all day.

The point is SEE THIS MOVIE. As angry as I was when Brokeback Mountain didn't win Best Picture last year, I will be devastated if Children of Men doesn't. Sorry, Marty. But I can live without you winning an Oscar another year for a masterpiece such as this.

***SPOILER***

There is a scene towards the end during the battle between the army, the immigrants, and FISH, when the baby starts crying and everything stops, the fighting, the screaming. Theo and Kee (Claire-Hope Ashitey) slowly make their way through the building and down the stairs and everyone has their own unique reactions - to cry, to try and touch Kee and the baby - and then the soldiers see the baby and they freeze and two of them kneel to pray and as they walk, no one moves. Whatever they were killing each other over, the safety of that child becomes everyone's priority. They just watch them walk away and you think that, "Wow, this baby may actually create some sense of peace and stability." and then the rocket fires from the building and the fighting starts up again.

That's when the seriousness of their world hits you.

Continue reading Movie of the Week...No...Year: Children of Men

Movie of the Week Part III: Dreamgirls

Good but not great.

Yes, Jennifer Hudson as Effie was amazing. I'll get that out of the way. When she sings "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," it's over.

Also, it was great to see Eddie Murphy with the energy he had in the 80's. However, some songs I felt like I was watching a Saturday Night Live sketch. Sometimes it's hard to take him seriously but that's more my problem than his.

Beyoncé wasn't bad but she gave the role what it asked for so I'm not complaining about it. There's something about her voice. I think because she's so soft spoken that she has to dub over most of her takes because her voice always sounds like it's on a different audio channel (or whatever the proper term is) than everyone else's. That said, she can sing and damn, she's fine. I hate you, Shawn Carter.

Jamie Foxx was great too but his singing wasn't very good except for "When I First Saw You". Also, Keith Robinson's (Effie's brother, C.C.) signing also bugged me.

The movie felt longer than it needed. After Jennifer Hudson's solo, the movie definately dragged it's feet to the end with one too many songs but it was still enjoyable.

And everyone who didn't vote for Jennifer Hudson on American Idol, well, don't you feel stupid?

Continue reading Movie of the Week Part III: Dreamgirls

Movie of the Week Part II: Pan's Labyrinth

What an amazing, beautiful, sad movie.

I can't wait to see it again.

There are not enough adjectives to describe how great this movie was.

Everyone was great especially Ariadna Gil (Carmen), Maribel Verdú (Mercedes) and Sergi López (Capitán Vidal).

I don't know what Guillermo del Toro obsession with creating these stories centering around children with the Spanish civil war (The Devil's Backbone) as the backdrop, but I hope it never ends.

I knew this wasn't a children's flick per se but I was surprised at how graphic some of the violence was. Seriously, if someone took their kids to this film (like under 13) at best they'd have nightmares for weeks, at worst, therapy. It doesn't matter because the tale of a child escaping real life through imagination and fantasy never gets old at any age.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Part II: Pan's Labyrinth

Movie of the Week: Notes on a Scandal

Doesn't it feel like every year Judi Dench is up for an Oscar nomination?

Well, guess what? She'll probably be getting another one.

Hopefully, Cate Blanchett, who only continues to strengthen my attraction to her, will get one too.

They were both great in this British/lesbian/May-December Fatal Attraction.

It was clearly melodramatic but I loved every second of it.

Why has Judi Dench only won a single Oscar and only for Best Supporting Actress (Shakespeare in Love)? She should have so many that she uses them for doorstops and paperweights.

Not to be forgotten is Bill Nighy as the betrayed husband who somehow made every line he said hilarious no matter how much sadness or anger was behind it.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Notes on a Scandal

Movie of the Week Part III: The Painted Veil

Why do people act like dicks at free screenings?

I've been to a bunch of free screenings this year and there is one constant.

People act like they are not AT THE MOVIES.

I don't care if it was free. It's still a movie. Turn off your cell phone and shut the fuck up.

Because this was the last screening I'll probably go to in 2006, it was like God gave me a "Best of the Worst Moviegoers"

We had...

• Two cell phones ringing
• A couple sitting in front of us talking in Spanish every three minutes
• A woman in a down coat who kept shifting in her seat against her coat making that annoying sound that down coats make.
• A couple who came in 30 minutes late and walked into the middle of the theater blocking views because for some reason they thought that there would still be some prime seating real estate left
• A woman sitting right in front of me who had a hearing aid with a little red light flashing that was hypnotic.
  
• An old man who kept making loud comments to the movie.
• A woman who got out of her seat to let someone out to go to the bathroom/concessions and decided to take this opportunity to STRETCH and block the view.
• Some guy who chose the quietest parts of the movie to crumple his paper bag
• These old people who yelled at someone who stood in front of them during the credits saying that, "the movies not over for us."
  

Anyway, how was the movie? Not sure. I think it was okay. It felt the best scenes from a book as opposed to a seamless movie. The acting was great. I felt like we needed to know more about why Walter (Ed Norton) was the way he was. The ending was VERY anticlimactic. Not that every ending needs to be climatic but it shouldn't feel like we just ran out of story.

Then again, I was so distracted that under different circumstances I might have enjoyed it more.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Part III: The Painted Veil

Movie of the Week Part II: For Your Consideration

Probably, my least favorite of the Christopher Guest movies

It was still funny but it felt less structured than the others and the last 20 minutes feels kinda tacked on.

The best parts were Fred Willard and Jane Lynch's spoof of Access Hollywood/The Insider/Entertainment Tonight.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Part II: For Your Consideration

Movie of the Week: The Pursuit of Happyness

Eh, it was cute.

Will Smith was great and will possibly get an Oscar nomination and his son was good as well. Strangely, he looked like Thandie Newton could be his mother which weirded me out (good casting).

However, if you saw the full trailer, you pretty much know what's going to happen.

If was a really short movie but it felt too long.

But it had enough "Aww" moments to keep the ladies and the old folks happy.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: The Pursuit of Happyness

Movie of the Week: Blood Diamond

I really wanted to hate on this movie.

I mean how many time can Edward Zwick
(Glory and The Last Samurai) direct movies with white guys in foreign countries who learns something about himself and then risks his life for the foreigners who have helped him discover the "real him."

Also, I hate when movies take real-life tragedy, in this instance conflict diamonds in Sierra Leone, and turn it into an action movie which is what this turns into.

But damn, was Leonardo DiCaprio good in this movie.

When I first saw the trailer, it was his little "Bling Bang" line and his accent that turned me off from seeing this movie at all.

I'm glad I did because this may go down as one of his best performances ever.

Djimon Hounsou was great as well but can someone cast him in a movie where he doesn't have to scream at the top of his lungs at least 2-5 times.

The movie was too long and pretentious at parts (the very end was pure fantasy) and there were times were Leo's character, Danny Archer, turned into Jack Bauer but those two performances really made this movie, and the generalexposure of Sierra Leone in the 90's makes it worthwhile.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Blood Diamond

Movie of the Week: Casino Royale

Well, that's going to be a hard one to top...

Anyone who has seen Daniel Craig in Layer Cake and, to a lesser extent, Munich shouldn't be surprised that he makes a great James Bond.

This was definitely a different, less smooth Bond and I liked it. Hopefully, future movies will show the transition to shaken and stirred Bond.

The movie was a little long, especially during the romance between Bond and Vesper. I know they had to establish the connection between them so that we can see how this affects Bond's demeanor and attitude in the future but it definitely hurt the movie.

I hope they get quality directors for the rest of the franchise or just keep Martin Campbell who has now directed two of the best Bond movies in the series - Goldeneye and Casino Royale. He has definitely raised the bar.

Great ending though.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Casino Royale

Movie of the Week Part II: Stranger Than Fiction

I don't think I will ever be able to accept Will Ferrell (Harold Crick) as a serious actor

Not that this was a serious movie because it was a comedy.

It's not because I don't think he's a good actor because he is.

But there were stretches during this movie where I thought to myself that this feels like a great Saturday Night Live sketch.

Or maybe SNL is that bad that I'm thinking of ways to make it better during my not watching SNL time?

I feel the same way about Mike Myers.

Anyway, this was a good movie. Not great. Cute even.

I still don't know how I feel about the end though. I kinda wanted it to end the way it was intended to end* but Kay Eiffel's (Emma Thompson) reasoning about her book's ending (and the movie as a whole) was true so what does that say about me as a person?

* This will make sense when you see the movie.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Part II: Stranger Than Fiction

Movie of the Week: The Fountain

This is probably the hardest movie I've ever tried to review.

I can totally understand someone seeing this movie and hating it. I mean, not just hating but possibly walking out of it.

The movie is not perfect. Some of the script is hokey and some, you can argue alot, of the movie is conceptually silly.

But I loved this movie.

I think I loved this movie more than this movie was actually good.

I see (I think) what Darren Aronofsky was trying to achieve. This movie is grand and ambitious. The cinematography was amazing and you would expect no less.

I think what it comes down to is how you feel about the 26th-century parts of the movie. The present day and the 16th-century Spain are pretty straightforward when all is said and done. But the future, much like life, is definitely left up to interpretation. At first, I thought it was a metaphor and then I thought it was real but as the credits rolled, I didn't know what to think. It didn't take away from how I felt about the movie.

Hugh Jackman was amazing in this film. He really carried this movie alternating pain and passion for his "quest". I think he should be nominated for an Oscar but the critical reception this movie has gotten might hinder that cause. Brad Pitt was originally cast as he lead until he dropped out. I don't know if he could have done what Jackman did but it would have been interesting to see him try.

In my heart, I want to give this movie but I cannot deny its imperfections.

This is one of those movies I wouldn't recommend or at least I would selectively recommend because it's not easily accessible and requires an OPEN mind. Regardless, you are unlikely to see a movie like it in a long time.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: The Fountain

Movie of the Week: Fast Food Nation

What a good time to give up fast food.

This Richard Linklater film based on Eric Schlosser book (they both co-wrote the screenplay) was all over the place.

It covers:

• The fast food industry
  
• The meat packing industry
• Immigration
• Expoilted immigrant workers
• Misguided activism

All the actors were good especially Greg Kinnear (although his character was a little too naive), Catalina Sandino Moreno (Maria Full Of Grace) and Ashley Johnson (I can't believe that's the same little girl from Growning Pains). Also, cameos by Bruce Willis and Linklater staple, Ethan Hawke were great.

But again, this movie was ALL OVER THE PLACE. For awhile, it felt like a collection of scenes instead of a movie. Then Kinnear leaves the film (not a knock on him) and the movie hunkers down and gets better.

Now, for the warning, the last 5 minutes of the film are BRUTAL. Don't eat anything especially red meat before seeing this movie because it may come back for an encore. It was just...disgusting. After we got out the theater, some old lady was handing out PETA flyers. Definately a smart move on their part.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Fast Food Nation

Movie of the Week: Shortbus

How often can you watch the credits and see "Pee and Vibrator Consultant" scroll by?

I will never look at the Star Spangeled Banner the same way again.

While all the attention about this movie is about the unsimulated sex - gay and straight - but the sex, dare I say, was almost inconsequential to the movie.

It was really about trying to find a connection with others and find themselves in a post-9/11 New York. Sometimes the characters try to solve thier problems through sex. Sometimes sex is the problem.

I can't remember the last movie I saw that had a more New York feel to it.

Most of the actors were first-timers and the characters were developed through a series of workshops with director John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch). The standouts are Sook-Yin Lee (Sofia), Paul Dawson (James) & Lindsay Beamish (Severin).

The soundtrack was also great and highly recommend it if you like indie rock/pop.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Shortbus

Lost Season Three: "I Do"

FEBRUARY 7th IS SO FAR AWAY!!!!

What I Liked:

• I know people who are going to complain about not getting answers, but damn that was just some damn good television.
  
• Hi. I'm Jack. I went to medical school. I'm not as stupid as you think. Seriously, it was good to see Jack not be an idiot and take everything he gets at face value which has been his biggest problem. He didn't believe he was ever getting off tthe island so he did the only good thing he thought he could do which was get his friends free from The Others.
  
• Nathan Fillon (Mal from Firefly and Serenity) as Kate's husband. Why couldn't he be stuck on the island?
• I loved the looks Juliet was giving Jack during surgery like "So are we killing him or what?"
• I hate to keep saying this but DAMN, Kate is fit!
• You have to feel bad for Jack. His two viable options for island sex - Ana Lucia and Kate - and Sawyer had sex with them both. If he had decided to do the surgery to get off the island, could you blame him?
• I will admit that for a split second, I believed Sawyer was a dead man. That last scene was probably the best acting Evangeline Lilly has done this entire series.
  
• All the people who have been unhappy with Lost and keep saying that they aren't going to watch the show anymore but keep coming back to complain, here's your chance. You have 13 weeks to get used to not watching Lost. Find something else to do from 9-10 PM. So the rest of us who aren't crying about not getting answers week after week and just seeing how the show is going to play out without any preconceived notions about what should happen and when we should be getting information can enjoy the show and the rest of you can talk about Criminal Minds or The O.C. You'll be missed*.
  

What I didn't like:

• I can tell why the producer added more characters (The Others, Nikki, Paulo, One-eyed dude) because the current characters flashbacks are useless. We get it. Jack needs to be in control. Sawyer's a con man. Kate needs to run. Locke is a sap. However, the one good thing is with the exception of Jack (his tattoos), Locke (how he got in the wheelchair) and Desmond (why he was in prison), everyone feels expendable because there's nothing let to learn about the rest of them.
  
• Not enough castaway action
• Our two new castaways didn't have any lines.
• I know Kate was freaking out because Sawyer was thisclose to being shot and Jack was yelling at her, but she couldn't have said "Jack, we're on an island. I'm gonna need more than two hours"
  

What We Learned:

• Kate was married to a cop under the name of Monica
• Kate probably traded in her honeymoon tickets (on Oceanic Airlines) to get to Australia
  
• Sawyer loves Kate.

Questions:

• What was with Kate's 50's hair stylings in her flashback?
• Who was Alex's boyfriend? Karl from the first episode of this season?
• How did Kate get a marriage license?
• Does Kate really love Sawyer? If Kate was in a cage opposite Jack, would she have slept with him? Is Kate with Sawyer because she has nowhere else to run?
• Did Jack mean for only Kate to escape because he never once mentions Sawyer over the walkie talkie? Will Sawyer remember than when/if their paths cross again?
  
• What happened to the 2 "unpleasant" weeks Ben promised Kate during their breakfast in the first episode of this season? Was that a part of his original plan before Juliet screwed it up?
• Why was Ben curious if Alex asked for him? What is their relationship? And why did Juliet lie?
  
• What the odds of one man (Sawyer) having sex with two attractive women on a semi-deserted island from the same plane crash?
• What did the saying on Eko's stick, "Lift up your eyes and look north”, mean to Locke?
• Who is Jacob? What is this "List"? Why wasn't Jack on it?
• Wouldn't it be funny if Jack did the surgery on Ben and he was successful and they just dropped him off on the other island and Ben was like, "I kept my promise"?

*No, you won't

Continue reading Lost Season Three: "I Do"

Movie of the Week: Borat

Somewhere in hell, Andy Kaufman is smiling...or is really pissed he didn't get to pull this off

I'm going to get this off my chest.

If anyone other than Sacha Baron Cohen wins the Academy Award for Best Actor, it will be a crime.

I can't imagine seeing a better performance this year of this decade.

I don't want to ruin anything for anyone but my favorite scenes were the fight in the hotel and the kids running up to the ice cream truck.

Sometimes you feel bad for the people he gets over on, but then you see a scene like the conversation before the rodeo or the frat guys from University of South Carolina (who should collectively never get laid again) and you just shake your head.

Who I am most concerned for are the Jackass guys. They are going to see this movie and see that the bar has been raised. This will result in jail time, paralysis or death. So Steve-O and Johnny, let it go.

Continue reading Movie of the Week: Borat

Lost Season 3: "The Cost of Living"

Don't drink and drive, kids

What I Liked:

• Aw, damn, Mr. Eko
  
• Locke's new "Anyone who wants to come into the forest and die, can come" regime
  
• Again, I love Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet)
  
• Ben's mea culpa to Jack about their plan to break Jack to make him want to operate on Ben's tumor
• Juliet's re-enactment of INXS' "Mediate" music video ("Ignore everything I'm saying. Ben is a liar and he is very dangerous. Some of us want a change, but it has to look like an accident. It has to look like we tried to save him, and that's up to you, Jack. It's a complicated surgery. No one would ever know and I would protect you. Now tell me to turn off the movie.")
• Smokey's back!
  

What I didn't like:

• What was the point of having the tail end survivors?
• I hate that if we know in advance that a character is going to die and a character has their flashback, it's pretty much a given that character is proper fucked.
• I still don't like how the new castaways are being introduced.
• I'll never get tired of thinking this but how much better and shocking would the deaths be with ABC didn't advertise them?
  
• This was my least favorite episode this season (not that it was a bad episode). Even though a lot happened, I felt like nothing happened.
  

What We Learned:

• The tumor Jack saw last episode was Ben's
• Mr. Eko is...er...was building a church to replace the one he desecrated
• The reason Ben brought Jack to the Others was to operate on his tumor
• Mr. Eko was mighty handy with a machete
• How the the pilot died in the first episode of Lost
• There's another hatch on the island we haven't seen
• There are Others who aren't down with however Ben operates
• Juliet wants Jack to help her kill Ben
• If you are a cast member and you get arrested, call your agent.
  

Questions:

• Did Desmond know that Eko was going to die?
  
• Where was Sun and Jin?
  
• Who's telling the truth - Ben or Juliet?
  
• Did the smoke monster take the form of Yemi? Is it the source of all unexplained hallucinations (Jack's dad, Hurley's imaginary friend)?
  
• What is the smoke monster's criteria for killing?
• Was the smoke monster going to kill Locke when it grabbed him at the season finale of season one?
  
• Who is the one-eyed man?
• Where is the hatch they saw on the video screen?
• Where does the water from that toliet go?
  
• Why do they need Kate and Sawyer?
• Why did Locke see a bright light and Mr. Eko a black column of smoke? Is the island racist? OR are there two monsters?
• When Mr. Eko told Locke "You're next", did he mean the group or Locke?
  

Continue reading Lost Season 3: "The Cost of Living"

Movie of the Week Pt. II: The Prestige

Batman vs. Wolverine! Place your bets.

I don't want to say anything specific about the movie because I don't want to ruin it for anyone.

I figured out the secret early and it didn't ruin the movie for me in any way. I was just annoyed with myself for not figuring it out sooner.

All the actors were great, especially Michael Caine as Cutter.

I got a kick out of Christian Bale's character being name "Alfred."

Chris Nolan is slowly becoming one of my favorite directors. All his movies are about obession (even...no...especially Batman Begins).

There's so much more I want to say but I won't...but e-mail me if you want to talk offline about it.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Pt. II: The Prestige

Lost Season 3: "Every Man For Himself"

You got served, Sawyer.

What I Liked:

• The interactions between Jack and Juliet. I like that Jack is finally getting his backbone back.
  
• On the opposite end, Sawyer totally got his balls taken away from him.
  
• Once again, Ben can break anyone. I hope it's Kate's turn next.
• Two Deadwood folks on one episode (Paula Malcomson as Colleen and Kim Dickens as Cassidy).
• Even though I knew the pacemaker was fake (they couldn't operate on a gunshot wound, I doubt they could do heart surgery), it was funny seeing Sawyer's heart rate go up while Kate was changing (who's wouldn't?)
  

What I didn't like:

• The backstories are becoming more and more useless. This one was okay but again, if we didn't have it, I wouldn't have been mad.
• How they are treating the new castaways like they've always been there and we just haven't noticed.
• I didn't want Colleen to die. Not because of the character but because Paula Malcomson is such a great actress and it seems like such a waste.
  

What We Learned:

• Sawyer went to prison for the con he pulled in "The Long Con" episode
  
• Sawyer has a daughter named Clementine
• Juliet was a fertility doctor
  
• Ben can still manipulate the hell out of anyone
  
• There are TWO islands which explains why the castaways having a boat made them nervous
• Why they need Jack
• Desmond can still see into the future and change it as he sees fit
• Kate is more important to Sawyer than Sawyer is to Sawyer
  
• Ben hates needles
  

Questions:

• Again, what is the nature of Desmond's prescience?
• Where was Locke and Eko?
  
• Who's X-rays were those?
• Is operating on whomever's spinal tumor that is the "favor" Ben wants to ask of Jack?
  
• How did the castaways never notice another island?
• What side of the island is the second island on?
• Is the little Others community we saw in the first episode on this second island or is it on the one with the castaways?
• Why do they need Kate and Sawyer?
• Considering her field, did Juliet also attend to Claire when she was in captivity?
• What happens when the Others find out Sun is pregnant?
• Can The Others have children? Is that why they keep trying to steal them?
  
• Is Ben trying to spark something between Juliet and Jack?
• Was Kate lying when she told Sawyer she didn't really love him?
• How long will it take Sayid, Jin and Sun to get back to the beach?
• Will Danny take revenge on the castaways of Colleen's death?
  

Continue reading Lost Season 3: "Every Man For Himself"

Movie of the Week Pt. I: Babel

This movie should have been titled, "When It Rains It Pours..."

It took me awhile to decide if I liked this movie or not.

There were four separate stories all connected by a random shooting.

I thought everyone was good, especially Rinko Kikuchi who plays a horny, confused deaf-mute Chieko in Japan.

I forget sometimes how old Brad Pitt really is.

The only problem I really had was that the story in Japan, while good, was connected tenuously to the others.

I'm still trying to figure out the point of the whole movie but it was beautiful to look at.

Continue reading Movie of the Week Pt. I: Babel

Lost Season 3: "Further Instructions"

You've been missed, John.

What I Liked:

• Locke is back! The Hunter, not the Whiny baby.
  
• Boone!
• The trippy airport scene (it reminded me of the UK promo for the first season of Lost). Great metaphor with Ben, as the "baggage handler" (get it?), examining Jack while Sawyer and Kate flirt on the side.
  
• Hurley's back! "Dude"
• Charlie had some great lines:
• "You're not taking drugs are you John? I only ask because of this strict zero tolerance policy you've enacted. I wouldn't want you to have to start punching yourself in the face."
• "I used to get high and watch nature programs on the Beeb."
• "You are aware John that I detest you?"
• This episode felt more like old school Lost
  

What I didn't like:

• The backstory was okay. We get it. Locke is sucker. But now we now he's a hypocrite too in regard to Charlie
  
• I missed Ben and Juliet (that will be solved next week it appears)
• How they chose to introduce the two new Losties, Paulo and Nikki.
  

What We Learned:

• What happened to Locke, Desmond and Mr. Eko
• What became of the Hatch (it imploded)
  
• Where the other bear has been since he tried to eat Walt.
• Locke is a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to drugs

Questions:

• What is the nature and source of Desmond's prophetic new talent?
• Boone's comments regarding Claire, Charlie and Aaron - "They're okay...for now"
• How did Locke, Desmond and Mr. Eko survive the implosion of the Hatch?
• Where is the smoke monster? I was rewatching some of the first season and remember when it was knocking trees down ALL THE TIME. Did he get bored?
  
• Why did the polar bear kill an animal for food, leave it, return to it, chase Charlie and Locke but only drag Mr. Eko back to his cave but didn't even eat a toe?
• Who's toy truck was that in the polar bear's cave?
• How did Hurley make it back to that side of the island so fast?
• How long will it take Sayid, jin and Sun to do the same?
  
• After Locke almost killed Hurley, is every major character going to be accidentally killed by another?
• Did Eko really wake up or was the island talking to Locke?
• Why is Charlie such a twat?
• Is the island really have some mystical properties? I mean we all thought Locke was a bit off when he was hunting for the hatch and all in season one but his "sweat lodge" gave him a clear vision of what was going on all over the island and the polar bear.
• Is the show going to spend time with either the castaways or the Others or will the episodes be more intregrated?
  

Continue reading Lost Season 3: "Further Instructions"

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins at Town Hall

She was great. Better than on the album.

That's all I've really got to say on that except get her album if you don't already have it.

Actually two things...

You ever hear a song that you liked in the album but it didn't necessarily stand out to you...until you hear it live? That said, after the show, "Born Secular" became my favorite song on the album.

Also, if anyone has a live .mp3 of "Acid Tongue", let me know.

Photo by baonguyen

Continue reading Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins at Town Hall

Lost Season 3: "The Glass Ballerina"

So far, so good...

What I Liked:

• I can see why Ben singled out Jack as the one to try and turn. Sawyer and Kate are fighters.
  
• Oh my God! Trixie from Deadwood!!! I was excited until Sun shot her. Someone else hire her.
  
• I feel like they really aren't holding back with information regarding The Others after two seasons of almost nothing
• Alex!
  
• Sawyer using kissing Kate as an excuse to size up The Others
• Kate doing manual labor (I would have kissed her too)
  
• Jin not being as dumb as Sayid and Sun think he is
• Sawyer: "You taste like strawberries"
  Kate: "You taste like fish cookies"

What I didn't like:

• Did Sayid not know that Jin was pregnant? Has he taken up the "dickhead" mantle in Jack's absence?
  
• Why does everyone, including his wife, continue to talk in front of Jin in English like he's retarded? He was already picking up words from Michael and body language is as big an indicator as language.
• Even though there was more action per se, this episode felt a little slower.
• Sayid must have been a horrible soldier. He does not have "home field advantage". He shouldn't have assumed that he had the only way onto the beach covered. The Others have shown themselves more than adapt to go wherever the hell they want and not be seen.
• I wish Sun didn't shoot Colleen (aforementioned Trixie). Deadwood's been cancelled and she needs the work.
• After all the smarts Sawyer showed in sizing up his captors, he was stupid speak his observations so loudly.
• That I had to re-live the Red Sox winning the fucking World Series on my favorite TV show.
  

Answers:

• Henry's full name (Benjamin Linus)
• The whole island is outfitted with cameras
• The odds that Sun is carrying Jin's baby are slim to none
• Time does pass normally on the island as it does in the real world (unless Ben is lying)
  
• They have been on the island for 66 days.
• Ben has been on the island his whole life (unless Ben is lying)
• Juliet never made Ben soup

Questions:

• Again, what was the relationship between Ben and Juliet before the plane crash?
• Ben's been there all his life? Was he born there? What about everyone else who appears younger than him?
  
• Where are all the kids they kidnapped from the Tallies?
  
• What does Ben want Jack to do and will he do it?
• Did Jae commit suicide or did Sun's father send backup in case Jin punked out?
• If The Others are "the good guys", why have they killed or tried to kill so many? What is their definition of "good"?
  
• Why hasn't Alex (the girl Kate was talking to) tried to find her mother, Danielle, the crazy French lady?
• Was Karl imprisoned for helping Alex get away?
• Where is Karl now?
  
• What's left to tell in Sun and Jin's backstory?
  

Continue reading Lost Season 3: "The Glass Ballerina"

Lost Season 3: "A Tale of Two Cities"

I know I'm late but with the Yankees out of the playoffs so soon I have plenty of time to do this. I'm going comment, question, whine and drool over this season of Lost. Spoilers go without saying.

What I Liked:

• Great opening. Better than last season's opener with Desmond. I knew they were on the island but it was great seeing the plane crash from their perspective and seeing Henr...I mean...Ben take charge immediately.
  
• As much as I like the mythology and mystery surrounding Lost, I think I prefer the character studies more. I felt this was one of the better flashbacks in terms of how it related to the characters current situation. I feel like Jack could possibly change. Which is good because he's a dick.
• The breakfast with Kate and Ben. I'm glad that Ben is going to continue to be as creepy as he was in Season Two.
• Elizabeth Mitchell as Juliet. She is a great addition to the cast and clearly is going to have something with Jack this season.

What I didn't like:

• There wasn't anything I really disliked but if I had to pick something I would say the Sawyer in the cage portions of the episode.

Answers:

• I guess Goodwin and Ethan were the two deceased infiltrators' real names
• We know what drove Jack's father back to the bottle
• Considering the CD, CDs, ovens and, oh yeah, Jack's entire history in a file, The Others have contact with the outside world
• Walt was right. The whole "Others" act was just that an act.
• Kate looks great in a dress
• The Others are responsible somehow for the bears that attacked Walt and Sawyer in season one and the shark that stalked Michael and Sawyer in season two.
• Henry Gale's real name is Ben. How anti-climatic. Why couldn't be something menacing like Rasputin?
• There's a Hydra station.
  

Questions:

• Obviously, what is the deal with The Others? Are the know longer connect to the Dharma Initiative as Juliet hints?
  
• What was the relationship between Ben and Juliet? Obviously, there was a reason he wasn't invited to the book club in the beginning and, whatever it was, I'm sure it worse since he was willing to let her drown with Jack in the aquarium.
• Is Mr. Friendly gay or is there some sort of Others stick with their own type credo behind him telling Kate she's not his type? (Making the potential Jack/Juliet pairing even more interesting...plus her name is Juliet)
• Why was Karl locked up across from Sawyer? Was he a plant to elicit information and reactions from Sawyer or did he actually do something?
• What happened to Kate from the time she had breakfast with Ben to the time she was brought to the cage? When she reached out for the biscuit that Sawyer threw, her wrist were deeply bruised as if she was struggling to free herself.
• What is there left to find out about Jack's backstory?
  

Continue reading Lost Season 3: "A Tale of Two Cities"