SEPTEMBER
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WEDNESDAY 9/26: You know, the complete first season of "The Simpsons" was released on DVD yesterday. Normally, I would be extremely excited, as a lot of people I know are, but I'm not. Does anyone REMEMBER the first season? Bad animation and the writing was not what it is now. When the following seasons are released then I'll save my money... ...oh who am I kidding? ...I'll probably buy it anyway. Speaking of buying it anyway, on October 16th, The Phantom Menace comes out on DVD (the first of the Star Wars movies to do so)...why do i care when I only liked 20 minutes of the whole movie? why am I preparing to buy it...shit...prepurchase it, even. I need shop-a-holic conseling or something. -So it's official: MJ is back. Don't say I didn't warn you, Michael.
Three reasons why Tenacious D is the greatest bank on Earth: 1)
Their song, "Fuck Her Gently"
(mp3 format) My brother just called me and told me about this "What's Going On" remake. From what I gather, the roster is Nelly Retardo (as F2 refers to her), Destiny's Child (Beyonce and the Pussy Cats), Fred Durst (of Limp Dick), Puffy, Eve, Nelly, Nas (Nasty, Esco, or LAAAAAAAAAMMME Nas?), Brittitty Spears, N*Sync (Black folks' favorite boy band), Savage Garden, Mary J. Blige (come to stop the spread of "hateration" I guess), Alicia Keys (Clive Davis' love child) , Michael Stipend Fund (of R.E.M. who had an album come out this year...did anybody know that?), Ja Fool, J-Lo, Christina Agulera (I can't spell her name right but she can't put her makeup on right so where are even), Nona Gaye, Backstreet Boys (c'mon guys, you are MEN..stop calling yourself the Backstreet Boys...Boys don't go to rehab), Aaron Lewis (from Staind...he must be sad), Jermaine Dupri (the mastermind behind this I believe), Gwen Stefani, and....Bono. Fucking Bono. No comment. Wait, i do have a few... ...Who
gave Fred Durst a bigger verse than fucking BONO? My brother says there is a video. I am going to avoid MTV as long as possible. SITE
UPDATES: New albums in Hear and
New Links in Links FRIDAY 9/21: I'll try and make this quick... -Read this and go out and kiss someone you love passionately. -I have been reading reviews for Mariah Carey's new film, Glitter. Ouch. •From Jack Matthews at the New York Daily News says: "This is the worst performance by a pop star in a dramatic role since Madonna suited up for Shanghai Surprise." "It's astonishingly bad, awkward beyond anything one could imagine from a singer with as much experience before live audiences and music-video cameras. Carey's no ham — quite the opposite." "When scenes call for her to express emotion, which they often do, she averts her eyes — looks down with faintly pursed lips, or closes them altogether — as if she expects the camera to catch her in a lie...Of course, it catches her anyway. " •From Jonathan Foreman at the New York Post says: "OFTEN unintentionally hilarious, Glitter is reminiscent of some of those really bad early '80s movies made to exploit the breakdancing craze." "Bad lines (Kate Lanier joins the screenwriters' Hall of Shame) elicited gales of laughter from the screening audience." "Although the album based on this movie has so far been a relative commercial failure, it features vocal performances by Carey that are actually less tiresome and self indulgent than those that made Carey a star." After the poor recption and sales of the accompanying album, I think Mariah--also a former DVS Bitchass of the Month-should be on suicide watch. -Am I the only one who sees hte Taliban's request for proof before they hand him over as not as unreasonable as the President and Colin Powell is making it sound? ***The results from the first official Melanism.com © poll*** 77% think that I am an optimistic pessimist and 23% think that I am a pessimisstic optimist. I'm happy with that. I think. The second poll about My Jerzee is proceeding nicely. I won't tell you what name is winning as to not influence. I'll post the results next week. -I added more ?s to the "?" section. You might wonder what the point of the "?" section is. These are not necessarily words of wisdom (although some are wise) or words to live by (although I do agree with a large percentage of them-despite the fact that they are from movies). I just thought they were rather funny, sometimes cute, sometime poignant, but usually just kinda funny.. Sheesh, stop reading so deeply into things. -Strike me down where I stand, I am feeling the new Macy Grey album, The Id. She still sounds like a Muppet tho. SITE UPDATES: More ?s in the "?" section (can you find them?). A new album in the Hear section. TUESDAY 9/18: Now that I've have had a weekend to soak all this in... Still...sigh. I have kind of detached myself from Sept. 11. Like, I hear about it on the news and shit and in my mind, it's like it didn't;t happen in New York. It happened somewhere else in US. But, Saturday, I went over the Triboro Bridge and saw the smoke and the "missing" WTC and was unfortunately reminded that it did happen here. Anyway... Last night, I caught "Hunting Bin Laden" on Frontline. Muy interesante. It was hard to hate him. I don't think he did it. Considering how much he believes in what he does and his cause, why would he deny it? I don't think he is afraid of the U.S. Government. They have sent missiles at him and missed. The U.S. are terrorists too. I just hope you know that. Remember those missiles Clinton sent after the Embassy bombings. Who do you think got hurt? Innocent bystanders. Think they got a forewarning... I swear U.S. Intelligence is run by some dude with the brain of Ralph on The Simpsons.. "My daddy says the terrorists are ova deeeeere" So, have we decided who we are declaring war on yet? Whichever terrorist faction(s) we go after, we are going to lose. I repeat, we are going to lose. Because we will send troops into Afghanistan and think that we are taking down their organization. First of all, the Brits couldn't win in Afghanistan Neither could the Soviets, I smell Vietnam... And then something else in the States will happen. Another major site will be blown to bits (and can they please stop cracking down on Lower Manhattan. The damage is done. They won't hit it again) and more innocent lives will be lost. As our lack of Central Intelligence will tell you, there are many terrorist cells within the U.S. and they will strike. We can get Bin Laden and there will be someone else. Could you imagine if the Sears Tower or the Empire State Building were hit during a business day? What we REALLY need to do is figure out why they feel this way and work it out. That's when it will end. Don't get it twisted. They don't hate us because we are a democracy or because we are American. They hate our corrupt, materialistic government who backs whatever foreign leader will give them oil at a price they deem agreeable. If that price becomes disagreeable, then we will "support" that leader getting overthrown. And don't think that President Bush getting the support of the leadership of Pakistan, Saudi Arabia (or any other Arab/Muslim countries neighboring Afghanistan) means anything. The people don't support the leadership. You watch. Besides... The only thing scarier than President Bush...... ...is COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF Bush ------------------ By the way, ANSWER MY POLL, DAMNIT!!! FRIDAY 9/14: I'm sorry for the long long long long delay for an update but I was on vacation for the first week of September and decided to take a vacation from cyber-living. Also, my laptop had to go into the shop and most of my stuff I do for this site is on my computer on work (I need to fix that lest I get fired on the fly)...and then when I came back, my first priority was to do this but Lou S. Cypher was up my ass like an OZ inmate...and then Tuesday happened. There's a lot to talk about...
I think we have seen enough pictures of what happened on the morning of September 11, 2001. A day we will all remember. So I thought it would be nice to see what it looked like... There's 8 million stories in the city... That morning, i was leaving for work at about 8:50 a.m. to catch the bus to head to the E train. While on the bus, the driver makes an announcement that a plane crashed into the World Trade Center and if you work down there, it's a madhouse. I naturally thought it was an accident and thought how horrible. I got on the E train and went to sleep for a minute listening to my mix CD of old Jay-Z songs... At about 10:00 a.m., the train stopped in the subway two stops from my stop for no reason. All I thought was "Damn, I'm gonna be late." I got out the subway station at about 10:10 still rocking Jigga noticing people--ALOT of people--talking on their cell phones frantically. Also, people were crowding around parked cars with the car radio on. I figured they were all talking about what had happened..that unfortunate accident...
I get in the office and everybody is crying and bugging out and my coworker told me about the second plane and how it was terrorists and how the first tower fell and I was just frozen. I couldn't believe it. It was bananas. My first reaction was "Lemme go online and see who's there". That's when I found out who was OK and who wasn't. That's also when I found out about the Pentagon. Next reaction was "Time to go home" which was easier said than done because there was a mass exodus out of the city... I didn't really see any coverage of the tragedy until I got to the pizzeria in my neighborhood at 7:30 PM and it was even worst. In retrospect, the news coverage looked like the 2001 version of "Man in the Mirror" music video...
Speaking of man in the mirror, this was bound to happen. Look at the history of this country. We have brutally attacked lesser countries with missiles and military (sometimes covert, usually illegal) actions. Why? Because we think we can't be hit. It's like the bully who beats on the little kid because he's the big and the kid is small and he can. Eventually, the kid throws a punch and knocks the bully's tooth out. Not saying it's right, but read a book, read your free newspaper, read the internet...in other parts of the world, the U.S. Government is their Osama Bin Laden. I hope whatever retaliation there is, it is well-thought out and executed. Only those responsible are attacked and not any innocent bystanders. If it was Bin Laden and he is in Afghanistan, don't bomb them, go in their and get him. People keep talking about "They attack everything America stands for." and "America this..." and "America that...". There is a difference between the people who live in America striving for a better life and the government that represents this country with their actions. Peace and blessings to those who got hurt, traumatized or know someone who got hurt or traumatized. Peace and blessings to anyone of Arabic descent (or looks like they are) or Muslims getting harassed by "Americans" who are dumb as a fucking brick. What if the attackers were members of a U.S-based militia? Should we beat up white people? I recommended everybody go rent "The Siege" (starring Denzel Washington). I know this isn't over so until next time...holla ----------------------------- On lighter notes...
Michael, don't do it. You see this picture? This is when Michael Jordan stole the ball from Karl Malone and then broke Byron Russell's ankles for the game-winning shot in the NBA Finals. This was his last shot. this is how I want to remember your greatness. Those kids are gonna be aiming at you. The Iversons and the Kobes are gonna hurt you. Besides, the Wizards team fucking sucks. You should know. it's partially your fault. Don't say I didn't warn you.
The Ruler's Back. While every East Coast album pretty much sounds like "The Dynasty" album, you changed your shit up with your classic samples and less jiggy rhymes. It's not Reasonable Doubt, but the closest he will probably get (if he hadleft the Wackmasters' track off, it would have been there) This is why he is on top. he doesn't have to follow the formula, he creates the formula. SITE UPDATE: A new poll (the results of the last one will be up next time), added some ish to the Hear No Evil page, andall of July's rants and raves were moved to the Archives.
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